“C’mon, Hoss, leave a few bites for the rest of us!” complained Joe Cartwright. His 20 year old brother paused in the act of shoveling a huge mound of mashed potatoes onto his plate, seeming to realize only then that his two brothers did not have any yet. Sheepishly, Hoss passed the bowl to 14 year old Little Joe, who helped himself to a healthy portion before handing it to his eldest brother, 26 year old Adam. The rest of the dishes followed suit one by one.
“Now, Joseph, I expect you to eat that food if you’re going to take it,” admonished Joe’s father, Ben Cartwright. He was well used to his youngest son’s capricious eating habits and suspected that the overflowing plate was merely a protest of Hoss’ infamous appetite.
“Yes, Sir. No problem,” Joe answered with a grin. He picked up his fork and dug in with enthusiasm. Ben was surprised, but pleased since he had been expecting the usual mealtime battle. Dinner progressed in companionable silence for several minutes before Ben glanced back to check on Joe’s progress. What he saw gave him pause. Adam had stopped eating and a look at Hoss revealed that he too was staring with fascination at his younger brother. Little Joe was completely oblivious to his family’s scrutiny as he inhaled his dinner. The chicken and green peas were long gone and the potatoes and bread were disappearing with equal rapidity.
Ben exchanged amused looks with his two eldest sons as Joe finished his meal, sopping up the last tiny droplets of gravy with his bread before popping it into his mouth and settling back in his chair, lacing his hands atop his stomach with a contented sigh. “That was great!” A loud burp suddenly erupted from the boy, startling him and he looked up, ready to apologize, when he noticed his family all looking at him with wide grins on their faces. “Um…’scuse me,” he said uncertainly. What were they all staring at?
“Want some more, little brother?” Hoss offered the plate of chicken with a twinkle in his laughing blue eyes. “There’s a few more chickens runnin’ around out back if this ain’t enough for you.”
Little Joe grinned self-consciously. “Guess I was kinda hungry tonight.”
“Kinda hungry,” teased Hoss. “I thought you was gonna eat the plate too!”
Everyone laughed, then Ben asked, “Didn’t you eat the lunch Hop Sing packed for you to take to school this morning, Joseph?” He was aware that Joe was often less than alert in the mornings and had a tendency to forget things such as his lunch, his books, and on one memorable occasion, his boots. The boy had been halfway to the barn before he realized that something didn’t feel quite right and had turned around to find Adam standing on the front porch holding his boots out to him with a sardonic grin. It had taken weeks for the family to get over that particular incident.
Joe’s brow puckered into a puzzled frown at his father’s question. “Yeah, Pa, I did eat my lunch. I had breakfast too, but lately it seems like I’m always hungry, no matter how much I eat. By suppertime I’m starving to death. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”
Adam smiled broadly. “I do. Congratulations, baby brother. Unless I’m very much mistaken, you are about to experience a major growth spurt.”
“You really think so, Adam?” Joe’s eyes lit up with pleasure. His voice had squeaked up on the question, as it seemed to be doing so often lately, but for once Joe didn’t care. His diminutive stature had long been a source of great irritation to him, but never more so than before this school year. Seating in the school was traditionally sorted by grade level. Joe’s new teacher, Miss Grady, had assigned him to sit with Billy Hanson on the first day of school, mistakenly assuming them to be in the same class. Billy was only 11 years old and though Joe didn’t hold the mistake against Miss Grady, it had stung. The teacher had apologized when Joe told her that he was in fact, 14, and had quickly rectified her error by reassigning Joe to sit with his friend, Mitch, but not before the entire school had gotten a good laugh at Joe’s expense. It hadn’t bothered him so much to have the boys laugh. He was accustomed to them joshing him about his height and he knew he could whip any one of them in a fair fight, despite his size. It had, however, been unexpectedly humiliating to hear the giggles coming from the girls. Every single girl within a year of Joe’s age was taller than he was, and always had been. He had begun to lose hope of ever growing any taller. “Do you think Adam is right, Pa?” he asked eagerly.
Ben thought a moment and realized that Adam had been about 13 when he’d begun to experience the majority of his growth, while Hoss who had always been a large boy, had started seriously sprouting up at age 11. Joe was more than due. Smiling at the hope shining clearly in his youngest boy’s green eyes, Ben nodded. “Yes, Joe. I believe Adam is correct. Both of your brothers did some serious growing when they were about your age. I wouldn’t be surprised if you did too.”
Joe brightened even more at this revelation. Somehow it had never occurred to him that his older brothers had once been in his place. To him, they had always been big. “Do you suppose I’ll catch up to the rest of the guys by the time school is over?”
Joe was
thinking about the annual end of school picnic.
The whole community always turned out to make a day of what was usually a
highlight in the lives of the young folks.
Today at school, Miss Grady had announced that a square dance had been
added to the festivities. Joe felt
sure that it would be a lot more fun to attend if there were a chance he might
actually be able to look a girl in the eye while dancing with her.
He had only been to a couple of dances before, church socials attended by
the whole family, and then he had not been interested in anything except
laughing with his friends and sampling all the wonderful desserts brought by the
townswomen. The only time in Little
Joe’s life that he could recall actually dancing with anyone was a vague but
closely guarded memory of his mother. She
had been laughing and holding her hands down to her small son as he did his best
impression of the box step she had shown him.
Joe could almost remember the sound of her lovely sparkling laugh as she
had circled him around the room, delighted with his accomplishment.
Dancing with an actual girl his own age had never occurred to Joe until
this morning’s announcement. Now,
he was both excited and apprehensive about the prospect. A lot of the girls in his class had suddenly started filling
out in new and delightful ways this year, both to the wonder and embarrassment
of their male classmates. Lately,
Joe had found himself looking at them in a whole new way and while it was rather
nice from a distance, he did not relish the idea of spending his first dance
standing face to chest with a girl.
Ben’s smile
softened as he heard the question. Though
he did not realize the direction of his son’s thoughts, he knew how much
Little Joe longed to stand equal to his friends and brothers. “Well, son, I
don’t know if you’ll catch up or not, but you’ve got two months left until
school lets out, so I’d say you’ve at least got a fighting chance.”
Just then, Hop Sing appeared from the kitchen with a freshly baked apple pie in hand. Beaming his warmest grin at the youngest Cartwright son, he placed the dessert in front of Joe. “Hop Sing glad you finally eat more. Soon you grow big like Mr. Adam and Mr. Hoss.” The small Chinese cook cut a generous triangle out of the pie and placed it in front of the grinning boy.
“Thanks, Hop Sing! I just hope I only grow big as Hoss in one way, though. Up!” With a sly hitch of his eyebrows toward Hoss, Little Joe forked a huge bite of the savory cinnamon spiced pie into his mouth and smiled.
Hoss guffawed and helped himself to a large slice of pie as well. “Looks like I’d better get busy before Little Joe eats all the food,” he declared with a wink. “After all, you wouldn’t want me wastin’ away to skin and bones just cause you’re finally plannin’ on fattening up, now would you, Joe?”
Ben smiled, enjoying his sons’ banter. “Well, Adam, it looks like you and I are the ones who’re going to waste away if we don’t act quick!”
With a laugh, Adam distributed the remainder of the pie, and the family dug in before retiring to the great room to enjoy a quiet family evening.
Little Joe stood in his underwear before his bedroom mirror, eyeing his reflection with disgust. It had been nearly two months since Adam had theorized his growth spurt and in all that time he had made no progress whatsoever. Hoss had made a small notch on one of the supports in the barn as he had carefully measured Joe against it that night. Joe had stood against that mark every single night since, hoping for some major change, and in all that time he figured he could credit maybe a quarter inch of new height. He was beginning to doubt even that tiny bit of progress, though. It had come early on and he was starting to wonder. Maybe Hoss had simply measured wrong that night and he had not grown at all. Worse yet, Joe could see that he was beginning to look chunky. He had always been rather compact and had possessed very little baby fat. Just enough to cause normally rational women to coo over how cute he was as they reached to pinch his cheeks. Oh, how he had hated that! It was worse than the constant ruffling of his curly hair by seemingly everyone he had ever met.
Joe turned in a slow circle, examining himself from every angle. There was no denying it; he definitely looked pudgy. His face had become rounder too and there was a little roll underneath his chin. Great! It wasn’t enough that he had to be short, Joe thought. Now he had to be short and fat! It wasn’t as if he could help it either. For the last two months he had eaten voraciously everything that was set before him, prompting Adam to remark that he must be trying to make up for the other 13 years when he never wanted to finish a meal. When Joe had realized that he was putting on weight, he had tried his best to slow down but it was no use. His stomach would simply gnaw and grumble until he gave in and fed it. The boy sighed heavily as he rubbed at his chin, trying to wish away the extra flesh. All his life, Joe had been considered too thin by his father and the doctor and he had often wondered if a little extra weight might somehow make him appear older, but it didn’t look like that would be the case. Somehow, it only made him look younger and that was the last thing he felt he needed. He had planned on asking Susie Miller to the picnic and dance today, but now Joe was not so sure.
Susie Miller had been sweet on Joseph Cartwright almost since the first day they had met when they were both eight years old. Joe liked Susie, but he had never taken her outrageous flirting to be anything more than joking around. Girls always flirted with him, women too, for that matter. It was not something he could explain, but Joe had been popular with women of all ages since the day he was born and he took it for granted. This past year, though, things had started to change. The fluttering eyelashes and sidelong glances had suddenly become something to be desired and dreamed about. With Susie, it had become even more. She had changed seemingly overnight from the scrawny little girl of Joe’s memories into a lovely young lady and now her winks and smiles made Joe feel weak in the knees whenever they were directed his way. Unfortunately, they were not directed his way very often any more. When Joe had begun to notice Susie, every other boy in school seemed to notice her too and she was clearly enjoying the experience. It seemed that her self-confidence was growing at exactly the same rate that his was flagging. Joe knew there was a possibility that if he got up his nerve and asked Susie to the picnic, she might say no. She had her pick of boys to go with, but Joe was hopeful that her past interest in him would work to his favor. He had never been on a date or asked a girl out before and the mere thought of doing so had kept him up nights lately, worrying how Susie would respond.
Joe leaned closer to the mirror, looking himself in the eye. “Come on, Cartwright,” he whispered to himself. “If you don’t say something soon, somebody else’ll ask her and you’ll always wonder what would have happened. Don’t be a coward. Just do it!” The mirror did not answer, but Joe set his jaw in determination. The idea made him feel a little queasy but Joe made up his mind he would not back down. He would ask her to that dance if he died in the attempt!
“Joe? Are you up? Breakfast is waiting and I don’t want you to be late for school.” The sound of his father’s voice outside the door broke into Joe’s awareness and he scrambled to get dressed before his father decided to open the door and check on him. The thought of being seen by anyone as he stood there preening in his underwear was more humiliation than Joe thought he could bear.
“Comin’, Pa!” he called, rolling his eyes as his voice cracked yet again. “I’ll be down in just a second.”
Five minutes later, Little Joe came thundering down the stairs and slid into his seat at the dining room table. Everyone else was already there and they handed him the platters of eggs, bacon and toast without commenting on his tardiness. They were quite used to his being late for breakfast. Soon, though, Ben noticed that his son was staring off into space with a distracted look as he stirred his eggs around and around on his plate. “Joseph, are you all right?”
Joe came back to earth with a start, flushing as he began to eat. About half the meal disappeared and then the boy was right back to daydreaming again, causing his father to shake his head and reach out to place a hand over Joseph’s left one to stop the annoying staccato rhythm of his tapping on the plate. “Sorry, Pa,” Joe mumbled.
Ben looked at him carefully, concern evident in his dark eyes. “Son, there is clearly something bothering you this morning. This is the third time I’ve had to get your attention from wherever you were wandering in just the last 30 minutes. Now, I don’t want you daydreaming your way through your lessons all day, so out with it. What’s on your mind?”
“It’s nothing, Pa,” Joe tried. “I just have something to do today and I don’t know yet how I’m gonna do it.”
Joe’s brothers had not missed the dreamy half-smile on his face or the guilty flush to his cheeks when their father had interrupted his thoughts this last time. Hoss reached over and slapped Adam lightly on the arm. “Hey, Joe. This something of yours wouldn’t have to do with a certain upcoming dance, now would it?”
Joe didn’t answer, but the reddening cheeks and stricken eyes of their baby brother were all the confirmation the two young men needed. Adam’s eyebrow rose and a look of mischief entered his brown eyes as he said, “Oh, Ho! So that’s it. I’ve been wondering what’s had you so jumpy lately. So, tell us, Joe. Who’s the lucky young lady you’re going to give the honor of being your first sweetheart?”
“I didn’t say nothing about any sweetheart,” Joe muttered with a scowl. His eyes were fixed on the table in front of him.
“Ah, but you are planning on asking somebody to the picnic, aren’t you?” Adam persisted. He really was genuinely interested to know, but he could not help the teasing tone that had automatically crept into his voice. Joe was such an easy mark because everything he felt was always stamped all over his face for the world to see.
“Come on, Shortshanks,” Hoss encouraged. “Tell us who she is.”
Squirming uncomfortably in his chair, Joe opened his mouth just barely enough to mumble, “Susie Miller.” Then he crossed his arms in front of him and stared even harder into the pattern of the red checked tablecloth, completely unable to look anyone in the eye.
Hoss whistled low. He had seen the way the boys always seemed to follow Susie around like puppy dogs, whenever he had been in the vicinity of Joe’s school. Personally, Hoss did not particularly like Susie Miller. He remembered her from his own school days as a rather prissy and self-interested little girl, but perhaps she had changed a lot in four years. Certainly she had blossomed into quite a little beauty. The gangly child with the straw blonde pigtails and brown eyes that always looked too big for her face had disappeared. In her place was a tall, flaxen-haired girl who, at barely 15, had only begun to reach her full potential. Hoss had not even recognized her at first sight. “Aimin’ kinda high, ain’t you, little brother?”
Adam snickered then spoke before he thought. “Yeah, about a foot and half too high!”
The color drained from Little Joe’s face, then returned in the form of blazing green eyes and two bright red streaks that burned into the boy’s cheeks. Without a word, Joe shot out of his chair and brushed past his father before the surprised man could even make a grab for him. Joe’s chair fell over backward in his rush to get away, but the boy never heard it fall as he stalked out, stopping only long enough to snag his hat off the credenza before bolting out the front door. The resounding slam of the heavy door seemed to echo in the silence that descended over the rest of the family. Both Ben and Hoss stared accusingly at Adam. “Nice goin’, older brother,” Hoss said, glaring at him. “I know you was only teasing, but you know how sensitive Little Joe is about his size.”
Adam looked back and forth from his brother to his father. Shame shone vividly in his face. “I never meant to hurt him. The comment just slipped out before I even realized it was coming.” He rose from his seat. “I’ll go talk to him.”
The sound of receding hoof beats stopped Adam in his tracks. He grimaced and slowly sat back down with a defeated sigh. His father placed a hand on his wrist to get his attention. “I don’t think it would help to talk to him right now anyway.” Ben fixed his sternest gaze on both of his older sons. “Boys, you’re going to have to tread lightly around Joe right now. He’s reached a very painful stage of adolescence and it’s not going to take much to set him off. Now, you could both see just as clearly as I could that he was nervous about something. While I thank you for figuring out what that something was, you had no place riding him about it. It seems to me it was not so very long ago that you two were going through the exact same phase that Joseph is going through right now. How would you have liked it if someone had done to you what you just did to him?”
Both Adam and Hoss seemed to shrink in on themselves as they heard their father’s somber tone and remembered their own younger days. Adolescence had not been an easy ride for either of them and they had not had to put up with teasing older brothers on top of everything else. Adam had been pestered a bit by his curious younger brother, Hoss, who had not understood why Adam suddenly preferred watching girls to going fishing, but he had been easy to put off. Hoss had not had to worry about any teasing from Adam, who had been off at college when Hoss’ own interest in the opposite sex had developed. Suddenly, Hoss remembered with a pang of guilt that Joe had been very supportive of him in those days. He had not entirely understood the blushing and stammering reaction of his older brother whenever there were girls in the vicinity, but he had willingly used his considerable charm to lure them over and had helpfully initiated conversations. Amazingly, the boy had possessed an instinct for knowing just when to melt into the background and leave Hoss to his own devices as well.
“What should we do, Pa?” Hoss asked earnestly. “We owe it to Joe to help him, or at least let him know how sorry we are for twitting him that way.”
“Yeah,” agreed Adam. “But knowing Joe, he may not cool off enough to let us in.”
“Maybe,” said Ben, smiling a little as he realized that they did indeed understand and sympathize with their brother’s plight. “But I think he’ll appreciate your support as soon as he decides you actually are sorry. Just wait until he comes home this evening and talk to him.”
“We will, Pa,” Adam said, resolving to corner Joe and apologize the minute he saw his little brother. Hoss nodded in agreement.
Ben smiled fully and stood, wiping his mouth with a napkin. “Good. Now, let’s get to work.”
Little Joe rode hard away from the ranch house, allowing the blowing wind to cool his hot face and the steady rhythm of Cochise’s smooth gait to ease his tumbling emotions. How could Adam have said something like that to him! He didn’t understand; Adam could practically get any girl he wanted with just a snap of his fingers. Joe scowled as he thought of his brother. Tall handsome Adam, with his books and music and lady-killer smile, who never lacked just the right thing to say to a woman. What right did he have to rub those things in Joe’s face? Suddenly, a rush of despair washed over Joe, replacing his anger. Adam had not been far off the mark with his jibe and that was what had really hurt. Susie towered over Joe, even more than some of the other girls did. What right did he have to expect her to want to be seen at a social with him?
“I can just hear her, Cooch,” he said aloud, watching as the pinto horse’s ears twitched, listening to his voice. “She’ll say, ‘I wish I could go with you, Joe, but somebody else already asked me.’ Then she’ll find an excuse to be someplace else just so I won’t see that she’s only telling a white lie.”
Joe fell silent, considering the likelihood of his speculation, then unexpectedly he could hear his father’s voice ringing through his imagination. “You can’t make up someone’s mind for them, son. All you can do is present your case and let the other person decide what to do for themselves.” Joe had heard Pa say that on a couple of occasions and as the words filled his head, his confidence began to make a comeback. Still, he could not help asking, “You think Susie would be insulted that I even asked, Cooch?” The horse snorted and tossed his head, as if he understood and was chiding his boy for such a silly notion. Joe couldn’t help laughing. He patted the animal affectionately on the neck. “You and Pa always know just the right thing to say, don’t you boy?”
Throughout the day, Joe waffled back and forth in his decision to ask Susie to the picnic. He started to approach her at morning recess, then changed his mind. Three different times, he wrote her notes then crumpled them up before he could decide to pass them to her. By the time school was dismissed for lunch, Little Joe was a nervous wreck. As he rose to go outside, it occurred to him that he’d been in such a hurry to escape the house that morning that he’d left without his lunch. It was just as well, though. The way his stomach felt, Joe was not sure he could have eaten it without throwing up. He had just about made up his mind to forget the whole idea of approaching Susie when she turned and looked across the schoolyard at him. It was a moment suspended in time, then Susie smiled and Joe felt his heart begin to pound wildly.
Almost without his conscious will, Joe’s legs began to propel him across the yard. Susie was standing under a tree, a little away from the other girls. With her smooth blonde hair and blue print dress ruffled by the breeze, Joe thought Susie looked very picturesque and he was suddenly afraid that he would not be able to summon enough breath to get the words past the knot in his throat. “Susie,” he said softly. “There’s something I been wanting to ask you?” Was that really his voice? Joe wondered. It sounded so strangely far away.
Susie leaned forward, a smile playing at the corners of her perfect pink mouth. Joe could actually feel her breath on his cheek as she said, “Yes?”
Joe’s knees suddenly felt so weak he was afraid they were going to buckle. “I, uh…S-Susie, would you go with me to…to…to the end of school party?” He cursed himself for stammering as he waited for her answer.
The girl’s smile widened and Joe felt hope beginning to rise in his heart, then like something out of his worst nightmare, her face crinkled up and Susie Miller began to laugh. She laughed so hard that her breath was coming in gasps. The other girls came closer, curious to know what was so funny, and then the boys came as well. Little Joe stood stock still in utter mortification as Susie looked down her nose at him (So damnably far down!), and shook her head. She turned amused eyes upon her schoolmates and said, “Little Joe asked me to the end of school picnic, girls! Isn’t he funny?!” She turned to Joe and said, “I’m sorry, Little Joe, but I’m afraid I don’t date children.” Laughing again, she pushed past him and flounced off to stand next to Teddy Johnson. He was almost as big as Hoss, and was probably Little Joe’s worst enemy in the entire world. Teddy grinned and linked arms with Susie as they moved off together.
Joe stood immobile, watching their retreating backs, feeling his world crumbling around him. Some of the other kids had laughed too when Susie made her declaration. It had been the nervous laughter of people who are shocked and uncomfortable and do not quite know what to do, but Joe did not realize this. All he could hear was that they were laughing. The entire school had seen him make an utter fool of himself. For what seemed an eternity, Joe remained standing there surrounded by a group of equally frozen classmates, feeling wave after wave of pain and humiliation crash over him. Then, with a strangled sound he pivoted and ran to Cochise, mounting in a single motion and galloping away. He would not stop until he reached the Ponderosa.
Chapter 4
Adam Cartwright was whistling a cheery tune as he came down the stairs of the empty ranch house. He had finished breaking in a string of new horses his father had purchased to sell to the Army, with time to spare and Adam was feeling good. He had come back to the house to change clothes, then he planned to take a ride into Virginia City to drop off a couple of telegrams and get the mail. He was thinking that he might have time to stop off for a beer and a quick visit with the new serving girl at the Silver Dollar saloon on his way back. Adam was buckling on his gun belt when he heard the sound of a horse galloping into the front yard. He frowned and opened the front door just in time to see his youngest brother’s unmistakable black and white pinto disappear into the barn. Automatically, Adam pulled out his pocket watch, wondering if it was later than he had thought. The hands read a quarter to one. What on earth was Joe doing home from school so early in the day?
For nearly fifteen minutes, Adam waited, expecting his brother to come through the door and explain his early presence. When Joe did not show up, Adam began to be concerned and walked out to the barn to find him. What he saw made his heart ache. Little Joe had gotten no further than removing Cochise’s saddle and blanket when his emotions had finally caught up with him. He had collapsed against the horse’s side, weeping with utter despair into the silky mane. Adam walked up to him slowly, not wanting to upset Joe any further by startling him. “Joe, are you all right? What’s wrong, buddy?”
Despite Adam’s best intentions, the boy jerked in surprise at the sound of his voice. He had not expected anyone to be home at this time of day. Pulling away from Cochise, Joe hurriedly wiped his eyes, not wanting to seem babyish in front of Adam. Gulping back his tears, he turned to face his brother. “What are you doing home?” he asked, trying hard to sound casual.
“I could ask you the same thing. I just finished work a little early today,” Adam told him. Remembering his earlier vow, he placed his hands on Little Joe’s shoulders and looked straight into his eyes. “I want to apologize for what I said to you at breakfast this morning. I didn’t mean anything by it.” Adam could see fresh tears welling up in Joe’s eyes, his lower lip beginning to wobble in spite of his tightly clenched jaw. Joe tried to turn his head away, but Adam placed a knuckle on his chin to prevent him. His voice was very gentle as he asked, “What are you doing here, Joe?”
In spite of his best efforts, a choked sob broke free from Little Joe and the tears began to pour from his eyes. “Oh, Adam, you were right! I never should have asked Susie to that stupid ol’ picnic. Now I can never show my face at school again!” His words were barely understandable through the sobs, but Adam caught enough to recognize that something had gone horribly wrong with his little brother’s plans. Wordlessly, he gathered the boy into his arms and maneuvered them both over to sit on a hay bale. Then he just held Joe tight and let him cry.
When the sounds of weeping began to lessen some, Adam peeked down into Joe’s face and offered him a handkerchief. Joe accepted it and blew his nose, pulling back from Adam’s embrace and trying once more to distance himself from the scene. Adam gave him a few minutes to collect himself, then asked him. “Can you tell me what happened, Joe?”
Joe sniffled and swiped at his eyes a couple more times. “I…I asked Susie,” he began, then stopped, swallowing hard.
Adam nodded in sympathy. “She turned you down, huh?”
Joe squirmed, not wanting to say the words, but as Adam continued to watch him with that unexpectedly understanding expression, he felt the tears burning behind his eyes again. “She laughed at me, Adam,” he whispered. “She…she called me a ch-child and she laughed and made fun of me, right in front of the whole school. Everybody was laughing at me!” Joe’s voice gave out at that point and he hid his burning face in his hands, not wanting to cry again in front of Adam.
Adam closed his eyes, flinching in sympathy. He tried to think of what he could say to make Joe feel better, but there were no easy words to assuage the hurt of such blatant cruelty. So instead, Adam simply sat and rubbed Joe’s quivering back, offering whatever comfort his presence could provide. It was enough, and eventually, Joe spoke again. “How could she do that to me, Adam? I thought Susie was my friend. Even if she didn’t want to go to the picnic with me, why did she have to be so mean?”
Joe’s eyes were dry now, though still red and swollen from crying. They implored Adam for answers he could not provide. “I don’t know, buddy,” Adam sighed. “For some reason, there just seems to be a need in some folks to hurt others. Maybe Susie thought she had a reason and maybe she didn’t need one, I just don’t know. All I do know is that you didn’t deserve to have this happen to you.”
“But it did.” The words were sad and hollow, reflecting the expression shining deep down in Joe’s eyes. He looked away from Adam and stared outside into the yard. “I ain’t goin’ back to school, Adam. I just can’t.”
“I understand how you feel, Joe,” Adam told him, “but I don’t think Pa will let you stay home, even if there is only one more week left.”
Joe shrugged. “He can make me go, but he can’t make me stay. I won’t do it.” Adam recognized the quiet determination in his brother’s voice. Joe was going to be stubborn about this and Adam wisely chose not to press the issue. He would let their father handle that one, especially since he was not entirely sure he himself would make Joe go back to school.
“Let’s not worry about that for right now, okay?” Adam leaned forward until Joe consented to look at him. “Today is Friday, so you’ve got the whole weekend before you have to worry about what you are or are not going to do. For right now, what do you say you ride into Virginia City with me to pick up the mail, then I’ll buy us a drink.”
Despite himself, Joe smiled a little. “Beer for you and sarsaparilla for the kid, right?”
Adam smiled back. “Well, I’d buy you a beer, but you know Pa would skin me alive if he found out about it. Tell you what, though. If it’ll make you feel better, I’ll join you in a sarsaparilla.”
“You hate that stuff,” Joe pointed out. He sniffled and wiped his nose on his sleeve, ignoring the handkerchief still clutched in his hand. “I appreciate the offer, though.”
“So what do you say?” Adam asked. “Shall we?”
Joe stood, twisting the cloth in his hands, and looked at his brother. “Thanks, Adam, but I don’t really feel much like being around people right now. Maybe some other time, okay?” He turned back to Cochise, picked up a currycomb and silently started brushing his horse’s shiny coat.
Adam remained watching him for a while, but Joe ignored him and finally he sighed and saddled his own horse for the ride to Virginia City. As he was heading out of the barn, he heard Joe quietly ask a question. “Do you think Pa will punish me for leaving school without getting permission?”
Adam knew Joe well enough to recognize the question behind the question. What he really wanted to know was if Adam was planning to tell their father what had happened today. “I’m afraid he’ll have to know the reason you left, Joe, but I wouldn’t worry too much about it. Pa will understand, same as I do.” He saw Joe nod as he returned to brushing his horse. Adam gave his brother’s shoulder a supportive squeeze and slowly left him to his thoughts.
Supper that night was a very quiet affair. Adam had not yet had a chance to explain what had taken place that afternoon, but he had managed to warn his father and Hoss not to ask Joe how school had been that day, under any circumstances. Both of them were curious and concerned, but Joe had walked in the house just as Adam had delivered his warning, so they waited patiently. Little Joe was not in the mood to talk to anyone. His dinnertime conversation consisted of exactly four words, “Pass the bread, please.” Then he fell silent once again and excused himself to do his evening chores the moment he was finished eating.
Hoss watched him go with worry etched in every line of his face. It was obvious that Joe was hurting and that in turn hurt Hoss. “Poor little kid. What’s wrong with him, Adam?”
Adam smiled sadly. “Actually, you just pinpointed what’s wrong, Hoss. Joe’s is a little kid and he was forcibly reminded of that today at school.”
“What do you mean?” asked Ben. “What happened to him?”
Adam told them exactly what Joe had told him, then added, “He asked me if you were going to punish him for coming home early and skipping class. I think he was really afraid you might think less of him for running away, but I told him you’d understand. You do, don’t you, Pa?”
“I’m afraid
I understand all too well,” Ben said sadly.
“My poor boy. He really
seemed to like that little girl. He
must have been devastated.”
Adam grimaced.
“I’m afraid so. He just couldn’t face the other kids after that and
I don’t blame him. We may be able
to do something about his not wanting to go back to school, though. I went into
Virginia City this afternoon and ran into Joe’s friends Mitch and Danny.
They told me basically the same thing Joe did with one major difference.
Everybody wasn’t laughing at him, though I can see how Joe must’ve
thought they were. In fact all the kids are apparently pretty much on Joe’s
side in this. Danny said everyone
was giving Susie the cold shoulder the rest of the afternoon and Laura Crawford
actually slapped her for calling Joe a runt.”
“That’s something, anyway,” muttered Hoss.
“If I wasn’t a gentleman I might be tempted to ride on out to the
Miller place and take a belt to that girl’s backside myself.”
Though Ben secretly sympathized with his middle son’s sentiment, he said, “Now, Hoss, that’s no way to talk.” Ben fell silent a moment, staring into the fireplace with his clenched hands drawn tightly against his mouth. What could he possibly say to ease Joseph’s pain? He had felt his own heart breaking as he listened to Adam tell of Joe’s humiliation. How much worse must Joe himself feel? It seemed as if that boy had been in a hurry to grow up all his life and his naturally petite frame had only made the waiting harder to endure. And now this. Ben was incensed that anyone could so casually trample on Joe’s very tender heart and worried over what it might do to the boy. Joe had always been sensitive to emotion, whether it was his own or someone else’s. He felt everything deeply and would never deliberately cause pain or distress to anyone, no matter how many scrapes he got into unintentionally. Ben sighed deeply. How it must have hurt to have Joe’s friends laughing at him! “Boys, we’re going to have to do our best to minimize what happened today and try to convince Joe to go back to school on Monday. I’d rather not have to order him back. It would almost certainly be counterproductive to force him when he needs our support so badly.”
Hoss nodded thoughtfully. “You ought to tell him what Mitch and Danny said, Adam. Joe needs to know that his friends are behind him too. Then I think maybe we should try and convince him to go to that picnic.”
Ben was surprised. He had expected Hoss to advocate keeping Joe at home until he forgot the incident. Certainly he had not expected him to want Joe to attend the event that had precipitated the entire incident. “Do you think that’s wise, son?”
“I do,” Adam said. “Hoss is right, Pa. We shouldn’t force him, but Joe’s pride will ultimately suffer a lot less if he shows up at the picnic and at least appears to have some fun. I think his friends will rally around him, if what I saw today is any indication, and with luck he’ll forget some of the sting of today and have a good time. You know how Joe is. If we don’t get him right back into circulation, he’ll withdraw and it’ll be that much harder for him to face his friends.”
“As for school,” Hoss added. “I just don’t know if one last week is worth the fight it’ll take if we tell him he has to go. Maybe it’d be better if we don’t mention school for the next couple days, then just make it clear next week that he’s expected to go as usual. Don’t make a big deal out of it, in other words.”
Ben nodded. Both his sons were making a lot of sense. “Joe should be back any minute now. I’d like to talk to him alone for a little while.”
“Sure, Pa. Me and Adam will go gather up that wood Hop Sing wants chopped into kindling,” Hoss volunteered. Adam grimaced but nodded his agreement and the two young men left the great room together.
When Joe entered the house a little while later, he spotted his father standing next to his large pine desk, staring out the window, apparently lost in thought. His brothers were nowhere in sight and Joe was grateful. He just did not feel up to much conversation after spending the entire evening replaying the events at school over and over in his mind. Joe sighed softly and plopped down on the sofa to stare disconsolately into the fire. He was not surprised when his father took a seat next to him and asked, “Want to talk about it?”
Joe shrugged. “Did Adam tell you?”
“Yes, he did,” Ben told him gently. “I’m not upset with you for leaving school early under the circumstances. Your brother told me you were worried about that.”
For a moment it looked as though Joe would not answer. He continued to look into the huge fireplace, then all at once he turned to Ben and blurted, “Oh, Pa, why couldn’t I have been big like you? I mean, I know you’ve said I take after Mama and all, but why do I have to be so small?”
The tragic, frustrated look on Little Joe’s fine boned face and the tears shimmering in his expressive golden green eyes caused a spasm of pain to spear through Ben. He could remember seeing that exact look on his late wife Marie’s face. She had been having trouble with Adam then, when he was determined to dislike his new stepmother. Marie had come to Ben with this exact look on her face, fearing that her best would not be good enough to conquer the heart of Ben’s stubborn eldest son. Now, here it was again, mirrored in the face of his youngest son. The resemblance was uncanny. Ben’s hand reached out automatically to brush back a lock of downy chestnut hair that was straying into Joe’s eyes. “Joseph, you won’t always be the size you are now. It is true that you look incredibly like your mother; a fact for which I am ever grateful, and you may not ever grow as tall as your brothers, but that’s nothing to be ashamed of. Your mother was a very petite woman, true, but she was also quick and strong and stubborn enough to back down men twice her size.” Ben smiled absently at the memory of his tiny wife doing just that with some of the men working on the Ponderosa. “She’d give a man a glare and he’d snap to before he realized it, then she’d turn on that sweet southern charm and have him eating out of her hand before he even had time to realize it. That’s what you’re like, Joseph.”
Joe looked a little uncertain. “I’m not sure I know what you mean. I’m like what?”
“You have a way with people,” Ben said simply.
“I’ve seen it all your life. There’s
something about you that causes other people to feel happier just for having
spoken with you, and you seem to possess a gift for talking most folks around to
your way of thinking. Just ask Hoss
if you don’t believe that!”
Joe bit his
lip, his face a picture of concentration. Then
he frowned and said doubtfully, “You mean, maybe it don’t matter to most
folks that I’m little cause they like me for who I am?
That kind of stuff?”
Ben smiled.
Joe was always a little distrustful of anything that sounded like a pithy
platitude. “Yes, I mean exactly
that kind of ‘stuff’. A person’s physical size has nothing to do with the
size of their heart, Joseph. Your friends, your real
friends, understand that. Adam ran
into two of your friends in town this afternoon and they both wanted you to know
that the rest of the students feel badly about today. They all took your part over Susie’s, apparently.”
Joe’s head whipped up, his startled eyes meeting his father’s. “They did?”
Ben nodded. “Evidently, they agree with your brothers and I that you were treated callously and unfairly. You have no reason to feel ashamed to face them on Monday, son. You did nothing wrong and you are not considered a laughing stock by your friends.”
For a long moment, Joe stared at his father, wondering how he had known what part of the whole fiasco was worrying Joe the most. He did not doubt that Pa was telling him the truth, but he was a little worried that his father might be mistaken. After all, it was unlikely that anyone from school would walk right up to Adam and tell him that his little brother was the school joke. But Joe felt hope stirring in his chest anyway. Even if Pa was wrong about the other kids, at least Pa and Hoss and Adam still supported and believed in him. “You really think things will be okay, Pa?”
Ben reached out to cup Joe’s cheek in his palm. “Have a little faith in yourself and in your friends, Joseph, and just remember one thing. There’s no shame in being small on the outside, as long as you never become small on the inside. It sounds simplistic, I know, but it’s true and I don’t think you’re in any danger of ever becoming small on the inside, son. Everything will be fine, you’ll see.”
Impulsively, Joe surprised his father by leaning closer and laying his head upon Ben’s shoulder. He nestled into his enfolding arm, as he had not done in several years. At 10, Joe had decided that such gestures were babyish, but somehow this time he did not mind. Comfort was more important than dignity and he snuggled contentedly into Ben’s willing embrace. “I love you, Pa.”
“I love you too, boy.” Ben hugged his son tight and dropped a kiss on top of his curly head.
They sat together in silence for a long time, staring into the fire, content in each other’s company. Then Joe spoke again, very softly. “Pa, have you ever been laughed at by a girl?”
A deep sigh filled Ben’s chest as an unwelcome memory filled his mind. “Yes, I’m afraid I have. When I was just a little older than you are now, I had a crush on a girl named Hannah Smith. My, but I was sweet on her!” He laughed a little over the memory.
“What happened?” Joe wanted to know.
“Well, unfortunately, my friend James felt the same way about her,” Ben said ruefully. “He and I actually came to blows over who would get to escort her to a birthday party! Turns out, though, that Hannah was already going with another fellow and she was just enjoying watching Jim and I fight over her. When we demanded that she make her choice, she laughed and told us she wouldn’t go with either of us if we were the only two boys in town.”
“Wow,” Joe said softly. It seemed impossible that anyone could ever do anything like that to a man like Ben Cartwright, but Joe suddenly felt reassured knowing that his Pa really did understand how he had felt today. “How long did it take you to get over it?”
Ben’s arm tightened around him in a quick squeeze. “The memory of it stung for a long while. In fact, I guess it still does a bit. It’s not easy to forget the first time someone deliberately hurts you, but all in all, I got over Hannah pretty quick. You’ll be surprised how quickly your heart can rebound when you’re young, son. It only took a week or two for me to become smitten with somebody new and of course a few months later I joined Captain Stoddard’s ship and everything in my life changed. I didn’t have much time to be worrying about chasing girls. Then, a few more years after that I fell in love with Adam’s mother.”
Joe gave a small grunt of acknowledgement, trying to imagine his father as a lovesick teenager. Somehow, he could not quite manage it. “What was she like, Pa? You’ve said that Hoss and I each take after our mothers, but what about Adam? Is he like his Ma too?”
Ben smiled. “Very much so. He not only looks a great deal like her, but he gets that romantic poetic soul of his from his mother as well.”
Joe made a face and shifted into a more comfortable position on his father’s broad shoulder. “I suppose all that flowery stuff would sound better coming from a lady. She was probably real nice in spite of that though, huh, Pa? Do you think she and I would’ve liked each other if it was possible for us to have met?”
Ben chuckled, amused by his son’s lingering disdain for romance. “Tell you what, Joe. Why don’t I tell you a little about my Elizabeth and you can decide for yourself.” He felt the boy’s head nod against him and proceeded to outline a wealth of memories. Pretty little Elizabeth, only 12 to his 15 when they had first met, laughing and teasing her father’s new cabin boy playfully. He told of the wonderful young woman Elizabeth had become and of the good times they had shared in their all too short time together. As he talked, memories of sights and sounds and dreams they had shared together came back to Ben, animating and enhancing the quality of his stories. He had told Adam these stories many times, but to Joe they were new. The interested noises and occasional questions by Joe kept Ben talking far longer than he had intended to, but he was enjoying the telling. There was no doubt in Ben’s mind that each of his sons and each of his wives would have liked one another a great deal. It was right that the boys should know more about each other’s mothers and he hoped Joe would pick up the subtext of his stories. That there were plenty of good-hearted young women in the world who would never dream of hurting anyone the way Susie Miller had hurt Joe today. At the very least, Ben hoped the stories would distract Joe from his troubles. As Joe’s responses grew less and less frequent, Ben began to pitch his voice lower and to speak in a more monotone rhythm and soon he felt the head on his shoulder grow heavy as Joe relaxed.
Joe fought the pull of sleep valiantly, not wanting the comfort and reassurance he had found in his Pa’s embrace to end. As the demands of the ranch had become bigger and Joe had grown out of childhood, it had become rare that he would get to enjoy quiet time alone with his father. He was enjoying the stories as well. He did not know much about Pa’s life before he himself had become a part of it and was interested to know more. Finally, though, he could not help himself. The flames within the fireplace seemed to waver and blur before Joe’s eyes, making it even harder to keep his heavy eyelids from dropping. Even after he gave in and closed his eyes, Joe imagined that he could still see the cheery flames dancing. He listened to the steady thrum of his father’s heartbeat and the deep echo of his rich voice rumbling through his chest as he talked and sleep overcame the boy at last.
Adam and Hoss had long since finished their wood-stacking chore, but they
had spent an hour by the corral fence, shooting the breeze and allowing their
father and Little Joe some extra time together.
In truth, they did not mind at all.
The spring night was nippy enough to make the fire inside comfortable but
not so cold as to require more than a light jacket outside.
“You reckon
it’s safe to go inside now?” asked Hoss.
“Joe’s probably gone up to bed and I’d kinda like to know how Pa
handled the trouble today.”
Adam agreed with a nod and they turned to go inside. “Talk about something unimportant when we go in, just in case Joe and Pa are still talking,” he warned.
Hoss complied readily, saying loudly as he opened the front door, “Boy, I tell you, Adam, this is going to be one fine summer for sure. I can feel it in the air.”
“Boys, keep your voices down, please,” they heard Ben call softly. Curious the two young men came around to the front of the sofa. Both smiled at the sight of their peacefully slumbering youngest sibling.
“Guess he’s feelin’ a little better about today, eh, Pa?” Hoss whispered. “What did you tell him?”
“We talked about today and I think I made him see that what happened wasn’t his fault,” Ben said evenly. He smiled then at his eldest son. “Then the conversation wandered and I wound up telling Joe stories about your mother until he nodded off.”
Adam took a seat on the coffee table across from his father and brothers, looking at Ben in surprise. “My mother? Wouldn’t Joe have rather heard stories about Marie?”
“Actually, he was very interested in knowing more about your mother. I think it made him feel a little closer to you to hear about her.” Ben noted the look of surprise on Adam’s face. “Don’t you know that you’re still his hero, son? Joe looks up to you and always has, and I’m sure your understanding today helped too.”
Adam stroked Joe’s hair lightly. “I’m glad I was here to help him. I’d hate for Joe to have had to go through what happened today all alone.” Adam saw his father grimace as he shifted, trying to adjust his position without waking his sleeping son. Little Joe responded to the motion of his human pillow with a muffled grumble of protest, flinging his left arm out to encircle Ben’s ribs possessively as he settled back into deeper sleep. Adam could feel the tender smile he saw upon his father’s face mirrored in his own expression as they watched Joe. “Why don’t you let me take him upstairs to bed, Pa?”
Ben hesitated, not wanting to let the evening end. He had greatly enjoyed this closeness with his youngest son, but his arm was already asleep and Ben knew that if he did not move soon he would be facing a night of muscle cramps. Reluctantly, he nodded. Hoss assisted Adam in disentangling the sleeping child from their father and Adam easily scooped him up, transferring Joe’s head to his own shoulder. At 14, Joe was really too old to be carried up and put to bed like a baby but a long held sense of protectiveness had come over Adam that afternoon and it felt right to him to do so. Besides, Joe had not moved a muscle as he was being passed into Adam’s arms, a sure sign that he was gone for the night. It was far easier to carry him than to try waking him up just to send him to bed.
The boy’s light weight was no hardship for Adam as he moved up the double staircase and into Joe’s room. Setting his brother down upon the bed, Adam lit a lamp then got Joe out of his clothes and into his nightshirt, tucking him into bed with the efficiency of long practice. Just as he was about to extinguish the light, Adam was startled to hear a sleepy voice say, “You were right, Adam. Pa did understand.” He moved back to Joe’s bedside and was amused to see the effort the boy was making to force his eyelids open. In only a few seconds, Joe gave up the fight and rolled onto his side, nestling deep into his pillow as the pull of slumber overtook him once again.
Adam stood looking down at his brother for a long time, not wanting to leave. He had always rather enjoyed seeing Joe still and peaceful. It didn’t happen very often. Adam could still remember the very first time he had ever laid eyes on his newborn brother.
Only hours old, Joseph had been lying wrapped in a blanket on the bed next to his proud mother. He had been fussy, grunting and snuffling in infant displeasure, his eyes blinking in confusion at the world around him. Hoss had stood in front of Adam, eyes big as he beheld the new arrival. Looking at their father for approval, Hoss had reached out a finger to stroke the baby’s dark downy hair. Little Joe had gurgled then, his unhappiness seeming to vanish at Hoss’ touch and Hoss had smiled joyfully when he had touched a little hand and felt baby Joseph’s fingers wrap around his own. The boy had kissed the baby carefully and then run out, tears of joy streaming down his face. As Adam had leaned closer, intending to kiss the baby’s cheek as well, he had received a poke in the face from a tiny fist as it waved aimlessly around. He had reared back in surprise, then laughed delightedly and caught the little hand in his own. The baby had opened his eyes wider, staring up at Adam and going suddenly quiet. Adam had felt incredible awe as he stared down into those innocent eyes and a sense of protectiveness had filled his soul. As years passed, the two of them had their ups and downs, many good times and many fights, but that need to protect Little Joe had never left Adam’s heart and he knew it never would.
Smiling at the memory, Adam wondered if he should have known that Joe’s first meeting with both himself and Hoss were a portent of things to come. Checking to make sure that Joe was truly asleep and that his father and brother were still downstairs, Adam leaned down and kissed Joe on the temple. “I love you, buddy,” he whispered. “Sleep well.”
On Monday morning, Little Joe rode slowly into the schoolyard, dreading
the thought of facing his friends. Especially
Susie Miller, not that she deserved the title of friend anymore. He could still
see that mean smile on her face and hear her mocking laughter ringing in his
ears. His face flushed hot just
thinking about it, as it had every time he had thought about it all during the
past two and a half days. He had
been gratefully surprised that his family had left him alone to lick his wounds,
never demanding that he talk more about it or giving him extra chores to help
him ‘forget’. They had
respected his desire to be by himself, only offering plenty of understanding
looks and comforting touches whenever they would pass.
By Sunday evening, Joe had made up his mind to go back to school as
usual. Anger had started to
override the hurt and even though she had seen him run away, Joe did not want to
give Susie the satisfaction of staying away.
Now, though, with the school building in sight, Little Joe was not sure
he could go through with it. Fighting
the urge to spur Cochise back to the safety of home, Joe dismounted and tied the
horse up to graze beneath a large shade tree.
Drawing himself up with a deep determined breath, Joe pulled his lunch
and books out of his saddlebag and walked up the school steps.
He faltered again when he reached the entry, but he had arrived a few
minutes earlier than usual and to his relief, the room was empty except for the
teacher, Miss Jennifer Grady.
“Why, hello, Joseph,” Miss Grady said in surprise, surreptitiously
checking the clock above the chalkboard. She
could not recall the last time Joseph Cartwright had arrived at the school
early. “What happened to you on
Friday?”
For an eternal few seconds, Joe froze.
Surely he would not have to confess the whole horrible ordeal to his
teacher! Then he remembered that he
had given no excuse for leaving early Friday afternoon and relaxed.
“I wasn’t feeling too good, so I went home,” Joe replied honestly.
“I’m sorry I forgot to ask permission, ma’am.
My Pa gave me a note.” He
pulled a piece of heavy paper from beneath his book strap and handed it to her.
He was still vaguely astonished that his father had written it, handing
the note to Joe with a compassionate smile and a warning not to leave school
early without asking permission again.
Miss Grady accepted the paper and read the words written in Ben
Cartwright’s bold decisive script.
Dear Miss Grady,
Please excuse my son’s absence Friday afternoon. Joseph was not feeling
well and came straight home from school. He
went to bed early and took the weekend easy. I have spoken to Joseph about
leaving school without obtaining your permission and I assure you that the
incident will not be repeated.
Yours Sincerely,
Ben Cartwright.
Having heard something of what had transpired Friday afternoon between
Joe and Susie, Miss Grady had already been inclined to overlook the absence.
After reading the note and noticing how both Joe and his father had carefully
omitted mentioning any specific illness, she was certain she knew the truth
behind Joseph’s class cutting and her heart went out to the boy.
“Very well, Joseph. Your
absence is excused. Please take
your seat. You have 15 minutes
until class begins and I’d like you to spend it working out the problems on
pages 39-41 of your math text. That
was the assignment you missed last week.”
“Yes, ma’am,” Joe replied, relieved that she had not told him to
run outside and play until the bell rang. Normally,
he would have preferred to spend as much time outside as possible, avoiding the
confinement of his desk until the last possible second, but the assignment
offered him a few extra minutes respite before he would have to face his
classmates. He willingly took his
seat and pulled out the book and his writing slate, determined to work hard and
just get this final week of school over with.
He finished the math problems in just under 10 minutes, surprising
himself. They normally took far
longer because he was daydreaming or whispering with other students.
Hesitating just a bit, Joe raised his hand and cleared his throat to get
Miss Grady’s attention.
She looked up, smiling her lovely smile and said, “Yes, Joseph?”
“Uh, I’m finished, ma’am,” Joe said shyly, returning the smile.
He secretly thought that even his dread of coming back to school might be
endurable if he could get Miss Grady to smile at him like that more often.
He thought she was wonderful, much nicer and prettier than any teacher he
had ever had before. She was 22
years old, small and dainty looking with big blue eyes and hair the same color
as Adam’s horse, Sport. Joe did
not see anything insulting in the comparison, as he thought Sport a very
handsome animal. He was not as
showy as Cochise was but pretty just the same.
It was rumored that Miss Grady was engaged to marry a young man in Carson
City and would not be back next year. Joe
hoped the rumor would prove false.
Joe rested his chin on his fist, watching with enraptured eyes as Miss
Grady nibbled on her full lower lip while looking over his schoolwork. The boy
sighed dreamily at the sight, absently wondering what it would feel like to kiss
her. He had been kissed twice
before, once when he was10 and curious to know what was so great about it, and
once last year at Nancy Coffee’s birthday party when Mitch bet him ten cents
that he wouldn’t have the nerve to give the sheriff’s daughter a birthday
kiss. Joe had enjoyed both, but
thought them nothing special. He
bet, though, that Jennifer Grady’s kisses would be worth having.
Miss Grady cleared her throat softly and Joe came back to reality, eyes
widening as he realized where his thoughts had taken him.
Miss Grady’s eyebrow arched delicately, curious to know where he had
drifted off to and Joe had the ridiculous notion that she knew what he had been
thinking; that she could somehow read his mind.
His face instantly colored a bright pink and he tried to think of
something neutral to say. “Are…um,
are they okay?”
She smiled and laid the slate back down upon the desk.
“Congratulations, Joseph. These
are all correct.” The teacher
touched his shoulder gently and leaned a little closer, causing Joe’s breath
to catch in his throat. “I told
you you’d get it if you kept trying hard.
I’m proud of you, dear.”
Little Joe beamed with pleasure, releasing a mute sigh of relief as he
realized that she had not guessed the nature of his daydreaming. “Thank you,
ma’am,” he said. “I’ve been trying to keep up.”
“Well, it looks like you’ve succeeded.”
She checked the clock again. “I’d better go ring the bell.” Miss
Grady’s smile faded into a look of sympathy as Little Joe’s cheery grin
faded and was replaced by a wary expression.
Joe’s eyes
were fastened to his desk, refusing to look up as the bell rang and the room
filled with students. A chorus of
whispered greetings and slaps on his shoulders and arms surprised Joe into
raising his head and seeing that his desk was surrounded.
For a moment, nobody said anything, each of them waiting for someone else
to speak, then at last Mitch said, “We talked after you left last week and we
want you to know how rotten we thought Susie was for laughin’ at you like
that.”
“She wasn’t the only one who laughed,” Joe muttered, scowling as he felt his ears begin to burn in tell tale embarrassment.
Mary Hicks touched his arm. “We’re sorry, Joe. It seemed sort of funny at first, when we thought you’d just flare up and tell Susie off. I guess we were all kinda shocked by what she said. We didn’t mean to hurt you even more.”
“Besides, most of us didn’t laugh,” chimed in Laura Crawford. “We thought Susie was just plain awful and I told her so to her face!”
Danny grinned, his smile seeming to stretch clear from ear to ear. “Yeah, I’ll say! Laura told her so plain that Susie is probably sporting a black eye today and Mitch and I saw to it that her ‘boyfriend’ Teddy has one to match.”
Joe gave an astonished laugh. “Adam told me you just slapped Susie!” Laura winked and huffed on her fist, polishing it against her shirt nonchalantly. Joe’s warm giggle filled the air. “I can’t believe you did that! My Pa would whomp me good if I ever punched a girl!”
Laura laughed. “That’s cause you’re a boy, silly. Besides I wouldn’t have done it if she hadn’t called you a runt. She had it coming to her and I ain’t sorry!” She tossed her black braids defiantly, as if to say, ‘so there’”.
Joe scowled at the word ‘runt’ but said, “Thanks, Laura; you too, guys.” Seeing that the teacher was watching them, Mitch slapped Joe on the back and motioned to the other kids. They all winked or smiled supportively as they moved to their own desks and Mitch took his seat on the opposite side of the desk he shared with Joe.
“Don’t
mind it much, Joe.” The soft,
timid voice at his ear startled Joe. It
was Sally-Ann Miller, Susie’s 12 year old sister. She glanced uncertainly at
Mitch, who was rummaging in his book-bag, then placed a thin hand atop Joe’s.
“Susie’s gotten awful mean and stuck-up ever since she thinks she’s
grown up. She only sparked up to
Teddy to make you sorry you never noticed her before. She says you’re too little for her now that she’s been
growing and changing some, but she’s wrong and I know she’ll be sorry when
she has to spend all day with Teddy.” Sally-Ann looked down at her shoes,
biting her lip, then she seemed to come to an inner resolution and quickly
kissed Joe’s cheek, whispering so softly he almost couldn’t hear her, “I
wish you’d asked me instead of her.”
Blushing to the
roots of her blond hair, Sally-Ann scurried away to take her seat. Joe touched his cheek in mute astonishment, staring after her
with open mouth. He had never heard
Sally-Ann Miller string even ten words together at a time and he had certainly
never expected the ones she had finally chosen.
Mitch laughed
quietly and whispered. “Close
your mouth, Joe. You’ll catch
flies.” Joe’s jaw closed with a
snap as he turned questioning eyes upon his friend.
Mitch elbowed him in the ribs. “You
should think about it, you know. I
think Sally-Ann really likes you and she’s way nicer than her sister is.
Besides, it’d really frost Susie if you showed up at the picnic with her baby
sister.”
“All right,
children, settle down,” commanded Miss Grady.
She had seen the cluster around Joseph’s desk and had decided to grant
him a few minutes in hopes that it would prevent further incident.
The class quieted at once and Miss Grady frowned as she noticed several
empty desks. She picked the sibling
of one of the absentees at random. “Sally-Ann, where is Susie, today?”
“She’s
sick, ma’am,” Sally-Ann said softly. “Ma
kept her home.”
Further questioning revealed that three other students had stayed home sick as well and the remaining four had no brothers or sisters to answer for them. Miss Grady wondered if there was something going around or if there might possibly be some sort of secret end of school event that she was not privy to. “Well, I certainly hope everyone is feeling better tomorrow,” she said, deciding to give the missing students the benefit of the doubt. “Please open your readers to the chapters written on the board. Review the material and I will hear the first class recite in ten minutes.”
Ben Cartwright nodded in satisfaction as he finished applying his
signature to the last of a large stack of legal documents.
Business had been good this year and he had just used a large chunk of
the capital to add another parcel of prime timberland to the western border of
the Ponderosa. As he reread the
document, Ben shook his head in amazement.
This purchase would bring the total acreage of his property to nearly
half a million; a truly Herculean accomplishment for only 15 short years.
Strange, how good luck and prosperity had seemed to smile upon the
Cartwright family almost from the very day Marie had announced her pregnancy
with Joseph, Ben mused. That boy,
with his ready smile and impish ways had been the joy of their lives ever since,
even when they were ready to whale the hide off him for some of his pranks.
Ben smiled as he realized it must almost be time for the boy to arrive
home from school, then he frowned, wondering how his son had fared with his
schoolmates today.
As if conjured by his father’s thoughts, Joe cantered into the yard on
Cochise. Ben stood to get a look
out his window as he heard the hoof beats.
At least the boy hadn’t come dragging home, which his father took to be
a good sign. A few minutes later,
the front door opened, followed by the sound of soft footsteps and a heavy
crash. Ben rolled his eyes.
“Joseph, don’t slam the door!”
“Sorry, Pa,” Joe replied automatically, as he had the last thousand
or so times he had received that particular admonishment.
He detoured to the side table to snag an apple out of the bowl Hop Sing
kept handy and took a huge bite as he wandered into his father’s study.
“Hi, Pa. Finishing some
paperwork?” he said around the food, plunking down into the chair next to the
big desk.
Ben automatically said, “Joe, don’t talk with your mouth full.”
He knew it was useless, but he kept hoping that someday the boy would
actually listen and swallow before he began speaking. “How was school today,
son?”
Joe bobbed his head from side to side in a so-so gesture as he finished
chewing the apple, gulping it down with a loud swallow.
“It wasn’t bad. Better
than I expected actually.”
“Oh? How so?” Ben
pretended to shuffle his papers in search of a document as he casually asked the
question. He knew Joe would be more
forthcoming about the events of his day if he did not feel pressured to respond.
Joe munched his apple thoughtfully.
“Well, Susie and Teddy were both absent today, for starters. Then with the other kids, I guess it’s like you said, Pa.
My real friends did stick by me. They
definitely seemed to be on my side, anyway.
Everybody was real nice to me all day and…” He cut himself off,
abruptly leaning forward and placing his elbows on the desk, resting his chin in
his hands. “Pa, can I ask you about something?”
Ben smiled and
set his papers aside, giving Joe his full attention.
“Of course, son. What’s
on your mind?”
“Well, I found out something today that I didn’t expect, about
somebody I never really thought about before.
The thing is, I want to believe what I found out is true but now I’m
not sure if I should trust what I was told because the person might have just
been trying to make me feel better by saying it.
I don’t know what I should do, or if I should do anything at all.” Joe finished his cryptic speech by staring his father in the
eye and asking, “What do you think?”
Ben was silent a moment as he digested the boy’s speech. He was quite used to Joe’s habit of dancing around any
subject he did not feel comfortable discussing and he calmly got to the heart of
the matter. “Exactly what did you find out?”
Diverting his gaze, Joe shrugged and said, “Well, Sally-Ann…You know,
Susie Miller’s sister?” He paused, peeking up at Ben, who nodded for him to
go on. “Well, um, I guess Sally-Ann has sort of a crush on me.
I didn’t know it, but Mitch says she really likes me, and, uh, well,
Sally-Ann told me she wishes I’d asked her to the picnic instead of her
sister. Then she…well, she sort
of kissed me, Pa. Then she
wouldn’t look at me for the rest of the day.”
Joe was blushing uncontrollably by now and wishing he had just kept his
mouth shut about Sally-Ann.
Ben hid a grin behind his hand. “She
‘sort of’ kissed you?”
Joe squirmed. “It wasn’t
much, Pa. Just a peck on the cheek
really. It’s not that I minded it
exactly, but I don’t know if I should say anything to her about it or not.
Maybe she only wanted me to feel not so bad about what her sister did,
but if she does like me than why wouldn’t she look at me?”
Contemplating the matter with all due gravity, Ben suggested, “Perhaps
the little girl was embarrassed or thinks you might not feel the same way about
her that she feels about you. How
do you feel about her, Joseph? Do
you think you might like to take her to the picnic?"
Shrugging, Joe studied the desk surface and mumbled, “I dunno. Like I said, I’ve never really thought much about her in
any way before, Pa. She’s only
12.”
Ben’s grin broke through to the surface and he chuckled, making Joe
look up in surprise. “So,
Sally-Ann is too young for a man of your advanced age?”
Sensing that there was only affection in his father’s gentle teasing,
Joe laughed. “I’m just
wondering if she was feeling sorry for me.
Sally-Ann has always seemed to get along better with animals than people.
She’s hardly ever said a word to me before today, even though I’ve
seen her petting Cochise a couple of times.
She’s kind of soft hearted, always taking in stray critters and looking
after the little kids.” Joe
raised a thoughtful eyebrow. “Come
to think of it, if she was a few years older, she’d be a good match for Hoss.”
“Who’d be a good match for Hoss?” Adam asked, having come through
the door just in time to catch the last of Joe’s sentence.
Joe debated whether to include Adam in his conversation with Pa, then sighed. He’d find out anyway. Somehow his brothers always found out every detail of his life.