My thanks to the following people for their assistance in competing this story.

Kathy Eriksen  - her never ending sources of information.

Barbara Peeling - her medical expertise of which I have none.

Michelle Killie - my chief editor and American linguist. 

Margie Johnson - for convincing me I could do this and all her encouragement.

Vicki Christian Gwyther and Patricia Thompson-Dumas - whose epic masterpieces enticed me to start somewhere.

Pernell Roberts - for being the person that he is, because his performances in Bonanza encouraged me to write this.

Lorne Greene, Dan Blocker and Michael Landon - who may be gone but never forgotten.

The setting for this story is a few weeks after Adam was found by his father and brothers injured in the camp of Ruth Halverson, THE SAVAGE.  It also explains how Adam became sick and nearly died in ELIZABETH, MY LOVE.

It is not necessary to have seen these episodes, but the story does interconnect with them. 

CHAPTER 1

Adam woke with a start, as he sat upright the sheets fell off his body to pool across the top of his thighs.  After blinking a few times he chuckled to himself, the expression on his face changing from puzzlement to a big smile of delight as he remembered what day it was.  This was the one day of the week that his father let he, and his two brothers, Hoss and Joe sleep in.

Adam saw the early morning sun shining through the windows and noticed it was the usual time he had to get out of bed.  Even on Saturdays there was no avoiding waking up at the regular time.  The only time he ever slept in was if he’d been out late on Friday night, which was rare.

Adam’s social life was limited, but by his own choice.  He didn’t go out of his way not to go out but it wasn’t a big a deal to him like it was to his brother Joe. His little brother made sure that he was out every Friday night. 

Adam smiled to himself as he thought of what Joe’s head might be feeling like this morning.  He’d heard him stumbling up the hallway to his room very late last night.  Their father didn’t approve of excessive drinking but would usually turn a blind eye where his youngest son was concerned.

He flopped back onto the pillow and gave a big, loud yawn as he stretched.  The hard muscles on his body rippled with movement as he extended his long arms and legs, then folded his hands under his head.  "Saturday" he murmured to himself, gazing at the ceiling. He had decided last night that he would take a ride into Virginia City in the morning and call by the general store.

His friend Pete, the owner of the store, had sent a message to him to let him know he had a parcel from Boston waiting for him to collect.  The only thing Adam could think it could be was some new books that he had on order. He smiled again to himself, his eyes twinkling with humor at the possibility of new books to read.  Glancing over to the full bookshelf, he knew that most of the books stacked neatly on the shelf had been read, by himself, at least twice and some even more.  He could tell his favorite by the rough spine, Paradise Lost, which had originally been his father’s.  His mother, Elizabeth, had enjoyed reading the book as well.  On her death the book had been kept for him, by his father, until such time as he could read it himself.

With his father’s full support, Adam was always trying to find ways to improve the productivity of the ranch and the books he’d ordered contained the latest agricultural information available.  Pasture improvement being one of the latest to come under his scrutiny after he had read some articles in the newspapers his father received from Boston.

Windmills had been another, he remembered but that had never panned out.   His trip to see them had been interrupted by circumstances. Adam quickly changed his train of thought, the windmills brought up too many unpleasant. memories.   He didn’t want to dwell on them at the moment, for they involved his beloved Ruth. 

When Adam returned from college, his father had encouraged him to become involved in the running of the ranch.  Ben knew that he had a quick mind and wanted his eldest son’s new ideas and input on the workings of the ranch.   He encouraged the same from Hoss and Little Joe but it was Adam whom he relied on the most.  Aside from the fact that Adam had always wanted to go back east to study, it had taken a lot of convincing by Marie, Ben’s third wife, before Ben had agreed.   At the time Ben didn’t think that Adam was responsible enough to go east alone but he had shown his father, in the months preceding Marie’s death, that he could be trusted.  When Marie died, Adam had taken over the responsibility of his brothers and the ranch because Ben had been devastated by her death.  Adam had then taken two years before he finally went to college.

Neither Hoss nor Joe envied Adam and his extra schooling, although Joe had missed his eldest brother while he had been away.  When Adam did return the relationship between them had become strained.  Adam still remembered his brother as Little Joe and tried to protect him as much as he could.  Joe, on the other hand, wanted to be in control of his own life and resented Adam’s help.

Sitting up in bed, Adam thought he might as well get an early start.  Reaching for his jeans, which he’d slung over the chair the night before, he slipped them on while still sitting on his bed.    He ran his hand over his face and felt his chin. Stubble roughly scratched his hand and he decided that a shave would be a good idea as well as a bath and clean clothes.  His shirt was left hanging over the chair, his father shouldn’t mind if he didn’t wear it to the breakfast table, after all he was going to take a bath straight after.  He’d wait and see what happened.  If his father insisted on a shirt then he’d put one on but if nothing were said he’d stay as he was.  Adam smiled at the past lectures he and his brothers had received from their father on that subject.  

Ben Cartwright always insisted his three sons make themselves respectable at the dining table.  Even after a hard day’s work he expected them to wash and tidy themselves before sitting down for their meals. Adam was no trouble.  There had never been any problems in this regard because he had either Inger or Marie to check his hands and face as a young boy.  Hoss and Little Joe were a different matter all together.  Aside from slamming the front door when they came into the house, much to Ben’s annoyance, he had to remind them constantly to wash before every meal.  Sadly neither woman had been able to spend much time to work with the boys on that matter. Hoss hadn’t known his mother and Joe too young to learn to have made a habit out of it before his mother had died in a riding accident. 

Adam padded to the door in his jeans and bare feet.  He quietly opened the door, so as not to disturb the rest of his family.   As he opened the door and stepped out into the corridor, he collided with his father, who had just come from his room on his way downstairs.

"Sorry Pa, you're up early."

"I’m sorry too son and so are you.  Something going on today I should know about?" Ben questioned his son, giving him one of his piercing looks.  He knew that Saturday was sleep in day for his family, and was surprised that Adam was up and about so early.  Usually if Adam woke early, he’d spend most of the morning reading one of his favorite books in bed.

 Many a time he’d gone into Adam’s room and found him with his nose in a book, not bothering to even look out his window to see what the day was like. He was curious to know why today was different.

"No, just want to get into town early that's all." Adam said, giving one of his rare smiles to his father.

"Oh?" Ben asked, waiting for his son to explain himself.

"Yeah, my parcel from Boston has arrived, which I hope is those books I told you about."

"Which ones were they again son?" asked Ben, as they walked down the hallway.  Both men nearly the same height but Adam wider in the shoulders and chest.

"Pa. I told you about them last week - the new pasture improvements."

"Oh that."

"Yeah that." said Adam getting a little annoyed.  Trust his father not to be listening when he told him about the new grass seed.

"You weren't listening when I told you about them were you?"

"Don't get your feathers ruffled so early in the morning Adam, I'd just forgotten about them.  Come to think of it now, didn't I say I'd look at them when they arrived?"

"Yeah, sure." grunted Adam, then instantly sorry he had.  He knew how busy his father was and for him to remember a conversation from a few weeks ago was a little unreasonable. Although Adam had taken over a lot of the financial paperwork and kept an eye on the running of the ranch his father still had plenty to deal with each day.

Ben stopped walking. looked his son in the eye, hands on his hips.  Adam could see his father’s anger and dropped his eyes to his feet.

"Adam," the agitation showing in his voice "You know I'm always open to your suggestions regarding anything to do with the Ponderosa, so don't get snappy with me."

"Sorry Pa. I…”

Ben threw his arm across his eldest son's shoulders.  "Now son, let's go down for some breakfast and I promise I will read the books and give it some good thought…once you've studied them too and worked out a plan of action, of course.

"But of course.”  Adam said with a smile, relieved his father was back in a good mood.  He never liked to anger his father and tried to maintain an even relationship with him.  That had proved to be difficult for both of them in the past, both were as stubborn as each other.  Ben knew which side of the family that trait came from.

Adam and Ben continued their way down the stairs, as always Hop Sing, their Chinese cook had breakfast ready and waiting for them.

"Did you tell Hop Sing what time we needed breakfast today Pa?"

"No.”

“How does he do that?”  Said Adam, shaking his head in disbelief.

No matter what the time in the morning, breakfast was always ready for them.

Ben opened his mouth to tell Adam to put a shirt on. Suddenly he remembered that last night, while at dinner, Adam had asked Hop Sing to have a bath ready for him after breakfast.  He knew Adam enjoyed his baths and held his comment back.

"Mr Adam, your bath water ready when you ready."

"Thanks Hop Sing, I'll just eat this and get my gear."  Said Adam as he sat down to a big plate full of eggs, bacon and toast.  He started to quickly hoe into them.  Ben watched his son eat and shook his head.  Then he remembered why he wanted to speak to Adam this morning.

"Adam, while you're in town could you stop by the telegraph office?  There should be a message due in from San Francisco."

"Sure Pa."  Said Adam, pushing himself from the table, having already finished his meal.  He’d made light work of breakfast, keen to get a move on into town.  He was already thinking ahead to what he needed to take to the bathroom when his father’s voice interrupted his thoughts.

"Adam, I know you're eager to get to those books, but did you actually taste breakfast?"  Joked Ben, a grin on his face.

Adam looked at his father and returned the grin with a slight smile.  "Thanks Hop Sing, it was good."

Adam turned, strode across the room and took the stairs two at a time. His bare feet treading silently on the stairs.  For a big man Adam could move as silently as a cougar, thanks to his spare time as a youth, spent with the Paiute Indians.  They’d taught him how to track, hunt and move the Indian way.

"Hop Sing, at least I can sit and enjoy breakfast."  It never ceased to amaze him how quickly his sons could eat.  Adam not so bad as Hoss, but this morning was different.  He smiled to himself as he thought of Hoss and his eating.  Out of all his sons, he could really put away his food, not one helping but usually two or three.  Many a time his brothers had sat back in awe of his appetite.  If they had tried to eat the same amount of food they’d be sick.

Hop Sing looked at Ben, while he cleared Adam’s dishes away,  "Thank you Mr Ben, today Mr. Adam like Hop Sing food, just like Mr Hoss."

Ben laughed, then continued to eat his breakfast at a leisurely pace.  As usual Hop Sing’s cooking was first rate.  But then he’d been part of the family for so long that he knew what food each man enjoyed.

Back in his room Adam began collecting his gear for his visit to the bathroom.  Thanks to his years at college, Adam had become particular about bathing.  He enjoyed bathing and the feel of clean, fresh clothes.  On the ranch getting dirty was a way of life, but Adam tried his hardest to make sure he looked respectable.  It was a habit which Hoss enjoyed joking him about.

As he left his room he stopped, carefully checking the hallway for any unexpected encounters, one collision was enough for one day.  He knew that Joe wouldn’t be up at this hour after his late night and the only other person he was likely to run into was his big, younger brother Hoss.   Running into Hoss would sit Adam on his backside.

 Seeing the way clear, he stepped out of his room, his arms filled with what he needed for the day.  He made his way to the water closet, a small smile just touching his lips.

Having sensed, rather than heard Adam walking down the stairs, Ben looked up from the newspaper he was reading in his favorite chair.   As he watched him, he suddenly remembered that Adam's birthday was next Saturday.  His eldest son was a week short of thirty.  He could still remember the day he was born back in Boston, as though it was yesterday. Elizabeth would be proud of him if she could see him now, fit and healthy.  Elizabeth, My Love how he has grown into a fine man.  I wish you were here to see him.

A bit too guarded with his feelings but that’s to be expected after all he’s had to endure as a young boy. He studied his son closely; noticing that his eyes were still without the light that used to shine so brightly in them.

With his shirt off, Ben could see Adam’s face and body were well tanned.  Often times he’d stripped off his shirt, while working in the hot sun.  His chest and shoulders were well muscled from the heavy work around the ranch and there wasn’t an ounce of fat on his body.  It was an ongoing joke between Adam and Little Joe as to whose muscles were the biggest.

  Joe and Adam had told Hoss to stay out of the argument because his size meant he didn’t count.   It wasn’t often Adam and Joe saw eye to eye; this had been a rare occasion.  Ben smiled to himself as he watched Adam struggle to avoid dropping his clothes.

Adam's workload had been lightened due to his injured leg.  His bruises and leg had healed and there was no sign of the limp, which he’d carried the past few weeks but Ben noticed that Adam would often look towards the mountains, his face sad and eyes haunted. The loss of Ruth had hit his eldest son hard.  

He and Adam had had a fierce argument regarding Adams' wish to leave the ranch at a busy time to see windmills.  After finally realizing how important they were to Adam, and ultimately the ranch, Ben had agreed to his request.  It had been on this trip to see the windmills, when Adam had found the love of his life in Ruth.   From what he Hoss and Joe had slowly learned shortly into the journey, Adam heard a woman’s voice and climbed onto a ledge for a better view.  He could see the woman, Ruth, being threatened by Shoshoni braves. After being forced to kill one brave, he’d been shot with an arrow in the leg, by a second.  Adam killed him, had overbalanced and fallen down the cliff face, further injuring himself on the head.  Ruth rescued him, took him to her camp in the mountains and cared for his injuries.

The Shoshoni had returned the two days later, desperately wanting Ruth, who was known to them as White Medicine Woman, to come to their village but by this time she and Adam had fallen in love.  When he’d learned of her death, Adam had been overcome with guilt.  There had been a way to escape the Shoshoni, but for some reason, unbeknown to Ben, they had not left her camp when the opportunity arose.  Ben asked for the reason from Adam but he had simply shaken his head and turned away, but not before he’d seen the pain in Adam’s eyes.  Now she was dead and Adam was still blaming himself.  Despite Ben and his two son’s efforts, they couldn’t ease Adam’s pain of the loss of her.

When they had found him, disoriented in Ruth’s camp, Adam had pleaded that he be able to go after her, but Ben had convinced him that to do so would put her in danger.

Instead Ben had asked his friend, Chief Winnemuca of the Paiute's to find out any information about Ruth if he could.  The Chief had returned with the bad news, that not many of the Shoshoni had survived the epidemic that had swept their village.

 Many of the women and children had died, including a white woman. It was not certain whether it was Ruth or not because all the bodies had been buried as quickly as possible to avoid any further spread of the disease. There was no trace of her, and Adam was certain that if she was alive she would have come to him by now.  He had told her of his father and brothers and where the ranch was.  Wanting her to become comfortable with being part of his family and knowing that they would welcome her, as his wife, with open arms.

Ben was pleased to see him with a faint smile on his face.  At least Adam's mind was off Ruth, for a while.  The books, which were the other love of his life, created a pleasant distraction.

"Will you be staying in town tonight Adam?"

Adam stopped by his father's chair.  He leaned on the back, deep in thought.

 "Not sure yet Pa.  I'll see how things go.  Did you want me to bring the telegraph home this evening or can it wait until tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow’s fine." replied Ben

"Okay." said Adam and left for the long awaited bath and shave.

CHAPTER 2

Ben sat back, enjoying reading his paper in peace until he heard Hoss and Little Joe clattering down the stairs.  As usual there was a familiar tone to their conversation. He enjoyed the teasing banter between his two younger sons, if only Adam would join in he’d be happier.  He noticed that once again they were back discussing tonight’s dance. The same subject had come up last night at the dinner table.

"Joe, there is no way you're gonna get past Mr Hanson to see Becky." Hoss had seen Mr Hanson’s face after the last dance in which Little Joe had been involved in a ruckus.   He wasn’t too happy about the association between Little Joe and his daughter continuing. His daughter’s reputation was nearly embarrassing after being with Joe Cartwright.

"Do you want to have a bet on that Hoss?  How about $50?"  Little Joe replied quickly, rising quickly to Hoss’ tease.  Unbeknown to his older brother, Joe knew that Becky had been pestering her father into allowing them to go together to tonight’s dance.  She had told him she was certain she’d won him over.  Like most daughters they could wrap their father around their little finger when they wanted to.  Joe had laughed when he heard her say that.  He could do the same with his father if he really tried hard.   He’d been able to do the same with his mother, Marie when she was still alive, much to his older brother’s annoyance.

"Joe, after last night you ain't got $50."  Hoss declared.  After Joe’s Friday nights in town, gambling and drinking in the saloons, Hoss knew Joe would always be short of money.  There was no way he’d have $50 left; he wasn’t that good a poker player.  He smiled to himself because neither was he.  Adam, with his controlled expressions, was the best player amongst the Cartwright boys.

"Joseph, what's that about a bet and last night?  Have you been gambling in town again, even though I specifically told you not to?   What time did you get in last night?"  Ben raised his head from the paper and eyed his youngest son.  He disliked his sons gambling, especially Joe.  Adam could hold his own in a poker game because no one could tell whether he was bluffing or not.  Hoss was too easily read and never bothered to play, Little Joe was another matter.  He took too many chances and would loose his weekly salary in one night, if his older brothers let him.

"Mornin Pa."

"Morning Hoss."

"Er nothing Pa.  Hoss thinks Mr Hanson won't let me take Becky to the dance tonight."   Joe said quickly, trying to change the subject away from gambling. If his father had heard him come in late last night, there was a good chance he was in for a lecture this morning, even if it was Saturday.  Sooner or later it would come out that he’d lost most of his money at the poker tables.  He glanced around the room, searching for his older brother. Joe knew Adam was awake because he’d heard him and Ben talking at the table. Joe knew that he wouldn’t have woken Hoss up last night and if his father was asking what time he came in, then it was possible only Adam heard him. If anyone would get him into trouble it would be Adam, but he couldn’t see him anywhere. Hopefully he’d gone for the day and wouldn’t say anything to Pa.

“Have you asked Mr Hanson?"  Ben knew that he hadn’t been off the ranch all week because of the roundup.  He wanted to know what Joe would say.

Laughing out loud, Hoss replied for Little Joe,  "No Pa, that's the problem.  Joe wants to take Becky, Becky wants to be with Joe but because of what happened at the dance last month Mr Hanson's sure gonna say no for sure."

"Well Joseph, you’d better ask Mr Hanson this morning hadn't you?  That way if he says no, Becky can still go to the dance with someone else. Somehow I don’t think he’d mind her going without you." Ben watched his youngest son’s face fall, knowing full well from Adam and Hoss that Joe hadn’t started the fight but was caught up when a stray punch landed on his jaw.  He’d thrown one back and got further involved, more than he wanted to.

"But Pa, it wasn't my fault what happened at the last dance.  Besides I don't want her to go with anyone else.  I really like Becky."  Out of all the girls in town, Joe enjoyed Becky’s company the most.  Her face would light up whenever she smiled and she always laughed at his silly jokes.

"No buts Joseph - this morning and that's final."

Adam, who had walked into the end of the conversation said "Joe little buddy, you need your head read if you think Frank Hanson’s going to let you go out with Becky again."  He gave a small laugh.  He’d been in the store when Hanson had found out about the fight at the previous dance.  Hanson had ranted and raved, vowing never to let his daughter be seen in Joe’s company again.

Quickly turning on Adam, Joe snapped back.  "You stay out of this Adam."  Irritated that Adam was amused by his problem with Becky’s father.

 Adam had warned him to be careful and stay on his best behavior, but the fight hadn’t been his fault last month.  He hated when Adam was right and, of course, this was one of them.

Ben watched the exchange between his two sons, wondering how Adam would handle Joe.  If he could get through this argument with his little brother, he was on the way to recovering from Ruth’s death.   So far Adam had avoided any form of confrontation with his family, he didn’t want to loose control of his feelings.

Hoss was about to step in to break them up when Ben quickly grabbed his sleeve, tugging to get his attention.  When he gave his father a quick glance Ben shook his head.

"Sure Joe.’ Continued Adam,  “What time will you be in town?"

"What do you want to know that for?" snapped Joe, still irritated by Adam and the line of questions.  He wasn’t too sure whether Adam was going to say anything about the late night and that made him edgy.

"I'll pass by Hanson's store and pick you up off the street.  Mind you I don't think I'll have much to pick up by the time Becky’s Pa’s finished with you."  With the hint of a smile, Adam turned and started climbing the stairs.

"Where are you all fixed up so early to go Adam?"

"Just into town that's all Hoss."  Adam said lightly over his shoulder.

"What? Now?” Hoss asked.  He knew Adam liked early starts but to go into town this early meant that there was something Adam was up to.  He wondered what it was but knew his brother well enough to know he wouldn’t just come straight out and say what it was.  You had to pry to get Adam to open up, unless he wanted you to know.

"Yes, I just wanted an early start so that I'd have some breakfast on my plate to eat.  By the time you two get through there's never anything left for anyone else."  Hoss gave Adam a huge smile, glad to see him sharing a joke.  There had been very few light moments with his brother over the past weeks and he was as concerned about him as he knew his father was.  Adam was always quiet and kept pretty much to himself but he had been more so lately.  He wanted his old brother back, the one he could talk to late at night when he needed to.  Adam had kept his door locked ever since he’d come home.  Hoss hated locked doors.

Little Joe glared at his older brother.   He could enjoy a joke with Hoss but when it was Adam who made the joke and he was right it made him mad. "That's because we've been doing your share of work too Adam." Joe began, still angry with him. 

Adam stopped halfway up the stairs.  Ben could see Adam's shoulders stiffen, his hands clenched into tight fists.  Angrily Ben turned to Little Joe, trying desperately to warn him off from continuing .He couldn’t believe how Joe could be so insensitive at a time like this.  He heard Hoss suck in his breath.  Turning around slowly, Adam gave his brother a withering look.

 "Would you like to say that again Joe, only this time to my face?"  Adam’s voice was menacingly soft, devoid of emotion, his eyes hard, body like a set bear trap ready to snap shut on his little brother.

"Joseph…." Ben said sternly.   Joe looked at his father, who he could tell was angry. Ben’s eyes blazed out at him from under his frown.   Joe looked back at Adam in horror, aware that he had gone too far.  He could tell Adam was even angrier than his father was.  Any other time Adam would've let his comment roll off him and come back with something just as quickly and twice as cutting. 

Little Joe hadn't meant to hurt him but what he’d said sounded harsher then intended.  He immediately felt sorry.  Although Adam hadn’t said anything specifically to any of his family, they all knew how he felt about Ruth’s death.

"No Adam, I'm sorry I said that.  It's been a hard few weeks while you've been healing, that's all."

Only Joseph could put his foot in his mouth and get his brother upset the way he’d done.

"Little Joe didn't mean nuthin by that Adam.  Besides I've been doin most of your chores anyways, so he's got nuthin to whine about.  Have you Little Joe?"  Hoss volunteered, trying to simmer the situation.  He could see how wound up Adam was and wanted to calm him down as quickly as possible.  If Adam started a fight with Joe, in his state of mind, it’d take both him and Ben to separate them.  He knew who’d come out the worst from a fight.

"That's right Adam, I’m so very sorry.  It was a stupid thing to say and I really didn’t mean it.  I really didn’t."  Joe said sincerely.  Having a fight with Adam was always around the corner, but he’d really cut him with his stupid comment and felt guilty for having done it.

Adam struggled to control his anger and wanting to avoid any further words, he turned and started back up the stairs.  He stopped at the next step, gripping the railing until his knuckles turned white.  Quietly he said,  "I had a good reason Joe, a very good reason."  He looked at his father.  "I'll being staying in town tonight after all Pa.  Maybe I'll see you at church, then again maybe I won’t.  It’s not doing me any good.”  Adam's voice was still soft as he shrugged his shoulders.  He spoke only to his father, as if his brothers weren’t even in the room.

"Fine Adam.  Enjoy yourself in town today.”

Adam continued up the stairs, his movements’ stiff with barely contained anger.  He strode into his room, closing the door quietly behind him but really wanting to slam it.  He didn’t because he didn’t want Joe to have the satisfaction of knowing he’d gotten to him.  He cursed to himself, knowing that Joe had done just that.

Angrily he sat on the bed and pulled his socks and boots on. Next a clean, white shirt and black ribbon tie, which Hop Sing had left out for him, neatly pressed.  He noted that once again Hop Sing had done an excellent job on his shirt and wanted to tell him so, but not wanting to go down stairs just yet.  He was just too angry with Joe and wanted to avoid him for a long as possible.

Joe’s comment had brought all his feelings about Ruth back to the surface.  The pain and sadness he felt for Ruth and what they might have had cut through him. He didn’t know whether he could survive her loss without loosing his mind, he had given his whole heart and soul to her.  The guilt and remorse he felt for not leaving, when they should have, was slowly destroying him.

He remembered Chief Winnemuca words about her death, that he’d seen your body in the village.  He hadn’t told his father about that.   The Chief had told it to him, after his father had walked away.  The Chief had felt it was only Adam who would want to know for he had seen the anguish on Adam’s face when he mentioned a white woman’s body had been found.

Chief Winnemuca had known Adam since he’d arrive in the valley with his father and young brother.  Adam, the ever-curious boy that he was, had made friends with the Paiute.  He and Young Wolf, the Chief’s son had become close friends in their early years on the ranch.  The Chief had even given Adam his Paiute name of He Who Thinks Much.

Adam lowered his head into his hands.  He stayed there, letting the tears flow silently for the first time since he’d come home, for how long he didn't know. 

Finally he raised his head and wiped his wet face with both hands.  “I've got to get over you, I can't live like this anymore.  One way or the other it must end.” He said aloud to himself.   His thoughts drifted back to that fateful day.   The day by the river when he had given Ruth the ring he'd made for her… 

She had watched him shave with a razor of her father’s she’d found in the old trunk kept at the back of her hut. When he’d cut himself on the chin, she’d laughed and suggested that it would be safer if he let his beard grow.  Adam had seen her face light up with a smile that brought a smile to his face. He instantly fell in love with her, a strong, independent woman.

 When she’d told her story of how she came to be on the mountain, alone, called White Medicine Woman by the Indians, he had held her in his arms to comfort her.  Telling her story to him had brought dark, hidden memories to the surface, which had frightened her.  She had raised her head, gazed deeply into his eyes trying to see the hate she felt he must feel for her.  Instead she found only love and compassion.  They had kissed passionately and out of the corner of his eye, he’d seen the Shoshoni arrive at her camp.

There was an illness sweeping their village and they wanted White Medicine Woman to save them for they believed her to be a spirit. Ruth and Adam both realized the danger she was in should she decide to go with them.   Ruth told them they would have her answer in the morning. Once they were alone, Adam had suggested they leave as soon as it was dark, to avoid the Indians.

They were supposed to have left camp that night, but after the Shoshoni had gone late in the afternoon, Ruth had turned to him and kissed him passionately, looking him directly in the face.  She had known the Shoshoni wouldn’t let her leave but said nothing to Adam, afraid of what he might try to do. Ruth knew his injuries were worse than he thought, his body slowly recovering from the ordeal, still weak.  He would be no match for a Shoshoni brave, they would have kill him instantly.

"Adam, love me."

"Ruth I do love you so very, very much."

"No Adam… love me."

"Ruth...?" he questioned, knowing what she meant but not sure she understood the full consequences.

"Yes Adam, make love to me, now, for I fear there may never be another time again."

"Are you sure Ruth?  You do know you may become with child if we do this."  In his heart Adam wanted to but he needed to know Ruth was certain about what she was asking.

"I know Adam, but we will always be together when we leave tonight, but first...."

Gently Ruth reached out for his hand and led him into her hut.  They kissed, holding each other close.  Adam regarded Ruth deeply, searching in her eyes, her face for any fear of what they were about to do.

 She smiled.  "Yes Adam."  Holding her arms open to him.

Then he knew that making love was right.  He kissed her neck and she shivered.  Her hands ran gently across his chest, feeling the softness of the hair, the firmness of the muscles underneath.   Ruth gently pushed him away from her and started to undress him. Adam reached over and did the same to her, caressing her body with his hands, his eyes, enjoying seeing her naked for the first time.  She had no fear of him when she saw him naked, standing before her.

They kissed again, their breathing becoming faster. With their bodies pressed firmly together, Adam gently lowered her onto the furs on her bed.  Adam needed all his fortitude to control himself until he heard Ruth cry out for him.  Their passion met, carrying them along in waves of ecstasy.  They clung together, each content, comfortable with the other.  During the night when they had woken, reached for the other, they had met each other's desires with the same intensity as the first. 

Late the next morning Adam woke first, leaning on one elbow he looked down at the woman he knew he wanted for his wife.  Waves of extreme love, of wanting to protect her, keep her safe in his arms swept over him.  He’d never felt this way about a woman before.  He wanted to wake her up, to tell her how he felt, then decided against it knowing that they’d have the rest of their lives together for him to tell her everyday that he loved her.  He’d always kept his feelings at a distance, hidden, not wanting to let anyone get close to him, to hurt him. But this time, this was different.  He finally understood how his father had felt about his mother.

Softly, as he looked back down a her face he said  “You're a very lucky man Adam Cartwright, to have such a beautiful woman love you.”  Ruth's head lay surrounded by her golden hair, her breasts rising and falling with each breath, a content smile playing on her lips.

Suddenly she opened her eyes, having sensed that someone was looking at her.  She stared straight into Adam's warm dark eyes.   The love that she had seen in them last night was still there. Smiling at her, he tenderly kissed her sweet lips.  Ruth returned his smile, her face glowing with her love for him.

"Good morning my love."  He said as he gently let his fingers caress her face, wanting to sear her image in his mind forever.  Adam continued the caress down her neck, softly across her shoulder and breast.  She felt her skin tingle at his touch, not wanting him to stop.

"Good morning to you too my love."  Ruth replied, her voice quivering.

As Adam watched her face the expression on it changed from one of happiness to fear as

realization suddenly crossed her mind.   Her eyes darted from Adam’s face to the doorway, it was light.  "Oh no Adam, it's late, we should have gone last night.  The Shoshoni will be able to track us in the light." Fear shone on her face.  Now that it was light, the Shoshoni would never let them leave.  Even if they tried, with only one horse it was going to be slow and dangerous. Ruth was afraid, for Adam more so than herself.  She knew they would kill him for being a white man who brought the disease amongst them.

"Never mind Ruth, we can leave tonight.  I rather enjoyed what we did instead."  Adam said with a look of contentment and a cheeky grin on his face. He tried to reassure her, even though in the back of his mind he knew she was right.  They should have traveled in the night.

Ruth shyly smiled back.  "So did I Adam, but the Shoshoni...” Adam leaned over and smothered the rest of the sentence with a long kiss.  Ruth wrapped her arms around his body, enjoying the feel of his skin, his smell so different from hers.  The hairs on his chest tickled her nose and she laughed.

"I'm hungry."  Adam said breaking apart from another, more intense kiss.  "How about I put some clothes on and see if I can catch some fish for breakfast?  I'll leave you to get dressed, although I’d rather stay and watch,” a grin on his face, “I can’t get enough of you.  When you’re ready meet me down by river, near the log you showed me yesterday."

"Alright Adam."  Ruth was still showing concern about the Shoshoni, but happy to have Adam nears her.  Although she lived alone for as long as she had, she enjoyed the feelings of security Adam gave her.  She knew she was going to enjoy their life together, even if it was just with him and she never saw anyone else.

"I'll have a surprise for you when you arrive Ruth."  He said while struggling into his jeans.

"Ow."  He said as he hurt his leg on the rough fabric.

Ruth laughed.  "My brave warrior."  She said, as he hobbled out of the hut.

Her face had lit up when he’d given her the ring, saying that it meant that he wanted to marry her, for her to be his wife.  How they had both laughed about 'the obey' in the vows.  She said she wanted to think about obeying.  How they never got to think about it...together.

Adam stood up from the bed and walked to his desk, hesitating before opening the top drawer.  Inside, at the very back was a small package - the ring, wrapped in soft cloth.  Adam looked at it, hesitant to touch it, but knowing he had to.  His fingers gently brushed the cloth.  Slowly, reluctantly he closed the drawer, shutting the images from his mind.  Wanting to shut them from his heart.   Raising his trembling hands to his face, he brushed away the tears, which had started to roll down his face.

 He turned, walked to the mirror to brush his hair.

As he reached for the brush there was a firm knock at his door.

"What is it?"  Barked Adam.  If it was Little Joe wanting to come in and talk, he’d decided he wasn't going to let him say another word.  What had been said was already too much for him to handle.

Ben heard the sharpness and pain in Adam's voice.   He hesitated before answering, should he continue or leave him alone.  He steeled himself, knowing that he had to enter, for his son’s sake.  "It's me Adam, may I come in?"

"It's unlocked."  Adam said shortly.  He had been expecting his father, knew he wanted to help heal the rift between his sons.

The door opened and as Ben walked slowly in Adam turned his head towards his father.  Taking a quick glance at Adam’s face, it said it all.  By the expression on his face Ben could see he was very upset.  Adam turned back to the mirror, not wanting to meet his father eyes and started to brush his hair - unsure whether he wanted to listen to his father.

"Adam..." Ben began, but Adam quickly cut his sentence off.

"Pa, don't say anything.  Nothing.... nothing will help.  Just leave it alone, in fact leave me alone.  I have to get out of this house. I'll get the telegraph if it's there for you.”

"Thank you son."  He put his hand on Adam's shoulder, wanting to offer some physical comfort.  Adam shrugged it off and stormed out.  Ben followed him out of his room and down the stairs.

He didn’t want him to go into town, not in this state, but was powerless to stop him.  His eldest son was old enough to make his own decisions.   

As Adam strode across the great room to the door, Little Joe and Hoss stopped talking and watched him.  Adam glared at Joe, but said nothing.  Joe opened his mouth to speak but Hoss grabbed his arm and shook his head.  By the time Little Joe had looked back from Hoss, Adam had picked up his gunbelt, hat and coat and hurried out the door, slamming it behind him.

Hoss and Little Joe watched their father walk slowly down the stairs.   The expression on his face indicating that he hadn’t been able to reason with his eldest son.  Without giving his two remaining sons a glance, he strode over to his chair and sat down.

 Ben reached over to the table, picked up his newspaper and settled into the chair.  The paper rustled loudly in the quiet room, the ticking from the grandfather clock was the only other noise.

Joe began "Pa...."

"Joseph, I don't want another word said about this, do you understand?”  Ben said bluntly, barely controlling his anger.

"Yes Pa I'm...I’m sorry."

"It's too late for sorry son, too late."

Little Joe raised his head to look across the table at his other brother, waiting to see if he’d say anything.  Hoss began to dig at his breakfast, moving the food around with his fork.  He pushed the plate across the table and threw the knife and fork down with a loud clatter.  Little Joe realized then that not only were Adam and Pa angry with him but also Hoss.  Hoss was upset enough not to finish his breakfast.

CHAPTER 3

As he strode purposefully across the room to the door, Adam could feel his father's and brothers' eyes on him.  His gun belt was on the sideboard, reaching for it he decided to buckle it on outside.  Grabbing his hat and coat down off the hook he left the room, needing to get away from them as quickly as he could.  He couldn’t control himself enough to say a word, so he said nothing.

If anyone had spoken to him he knew he would have said things that he’d later regret.

Outside he stopped by the hitching rail and slowly let the air out of his lungs.  Taking a deep breath, he hadn't realized that he had been holding it.  He threw his hat and coat on and buckled the gun belt up while he strode across the yard to the barn. 

Inside Sport, his favorite horse nickered to him.  Adam walked to him and gave him a long pat.  He closed his eyes and lent his forehead against the horse’s neck.  Taking a few more deep breaths to calm himself, he opened his eyes.  "Let's go to town boy.  The ride’ll do us both good."  He said as he saddled the horse.  He led Sport out of the barn and as he grabbed the saddle to swing himself up he looked over the top, noticed his father had come outside and was standing on the porch, watching him.

Ben raised his hand in farewell as Adam turned and rode out, not bothering to return the wave.  He lowered his arm slowly.  "I can't help you son.  You have to get over this yourself.  Just like I had to.  You have to find your own peace of mind, I hope you can - for your sake.  Just remember I’m here for you.”

‘Damn’ thought Adam as he rode out of the yard.  He knew he should have waved to his father, even though it wasn't his fault he’d still taken it out on him.  In fact it wasn't Joe's either.  It was his own wallowing in self-pity and guilt about Ruth, which had caused the argument.

Adam noticed that when he’d pushed off to swing into the saddle, the muscle in his leg hadn't twinged at all.  With his leg healed he knew he had to get the rest of him healed, to get over Ruth.  “Snap out of it Adam Cartwright."  He said out aloud.  Sport's ears flicked back at the sound of his voice.  "Come on boy let's have a run."  Adam said as he gave the horse a flick with his heels.  Sport quickly responded and in no time both rider and horse were tearing down the road, wind whipping in their faces. 

"Slow up Sport."  Adam said as he eased back on the reins, the town buildings just coming into sight.  The horse slowed its pace until he was at a walk.  Both Adam and Sport were breathing hard.  "That felt good boy, really good." said Adam and he did feel better than when he’d left home.  They continued the walk into town; the man and horse enjoying the cool of the morning, Adam letting the horse cool down.

Adam rode through the streets and stopped in front of the livery stable.  As he climbed down from his horse, Zac the owner walked out from the stable, wiping his hands on his apron.

“Hello Adam, you’re in town early today.” He said, reaching for the reins as Adam handed them to him.

“Yeah Zac, bed Sport down for the night will you. Oh and give him a good measure of oats and a good rub down Zac, I gave him a bit of a run on the way in."  Adam flicked a dollar bit to Zac as he led the horse away.

"Sure thing Adam.  You sure you won't be needing him again today?"

 Zac’s father had owned the livery and on his death five years ago, Zac had inherited the business.  Ben had been reluctant, at first, to use his livery because Zac was inexperienced and it had taken a few words in his father’s ear by Adam to convince him to trust Zac.  Since then he and Adam had become best friends and his business had thrived because the Cartwrights kept using it.

 "No I'll be right.  I'm staying in town tonight."

"Going to tie one on Adam or go to the dance?"  Zac had known Adam for years and could tell by his expression that Adam was troubled.

"Maybe both Zac, maybe both."

Although he felt like it he decided he'd better not get drunk, not if Joe was coming into town to speak to Frank Hanson.  He didn't want Joe to see him drunk; he never let anyone from his family ever see him drunk.  There’d been plenty of times since Ruth’s death when he’d had too many and stayed in town to sleep them off. His father never asked questions when he came home the next day but the way Ben looked at him, Adam felt he knew.  All Ben asked of him was that he was paying him a full day’s wages, he expected a full day’s work.

Adam walked out of the livery and strolled crossed the street to the mercantile.

"Hello Adam."  Pete said, as he walked in the store, the bell over the door giving a tinkle.  "I'll be right with you."  He turned back to continue serving the woman who was standing in front of the counter.  She turned around at the mention of Adam's name and smiled up at him.

"Why Hello Adam."

"Hello Susan, nice to see you."  He gave her a brief smile, which didn't touch his eyes, then looked away.  He didn’t feel like talking to Susan, not today anyway.

"Nice to see you too Adam.  I haven't seen you for quite a while.  Are you going to the dance tonight because I think you’re a bit early if you are.” She said with a soft laugh.

"I don't think so."

"Oh?  I haven't seen you since our last dance.  Why not Adam Cartwright?"  Susan was disappointed he wasn’t going and it showed.  Adam usually filled a number of places on her dance card and he was an excellent dancer.  She enjoyed his company and made a point of letting him know whenever they were together.

"I've not wanted to go Susan, as simple as that."  Said Adam sharply.

"Alright Adam, I'm sorry I asked."  She said softly, hurt by his tone of voice.  They’d know each other for years and she hadn’t expected him to treat her the way he did.

"Sorry Susan, I seem to be apologizing a lot today and it's still only early."  Adam confessed, feeling bad about snapping at her.  He could tell by the sad expression on her face that he’d hurt her feelings.

Susan deliberately turned her back on Adam and spoke curtly to Pete. "Are you finished yet, I'd like to go now?"

"Yes Miss Susan, here you are.  That's twenty five cents."

"There you are.  Good-bye Pete." She said, ignoring Adam, who stood behind her, his eyes fixed firmly on his boots.

Susan turned quickly, brushing by Adam.

"Susan...” Adam began, "I'm ............"

"Goodbye Adam."  It was her turn to be sharp.  'I deserved that.' he thought.

"Adam what'll it be?" said Pete, feeling the tension between them but not knowing what to do.

Adam continued to look after Susan as she left the shop, remembering the good times they'd had.  He decided he wanted more of her company.  Later in the day, he would call in to see her, apologize and ask her to accompany him to the dance.

"Adam?"  Pete repeated.

"Yeah. .Oh, Pete.  Sorry, do you have my package from Boston?"

"Here it is Adam, I kept it under the counter.  I thought you'd be in soon to collect it.  Pretty heavy, more books perhaps?"  Pete laughed, he knew full well that the packages that came for Adam from Boston were always heavy and full of books.

"Pete you guessed it in one, I hope.  Let's have a look."  Adam reached into the pocket in his jeans and drew out his pocketknife.  Opening the knife he slid the sharp blade into the wrapping, using his left hand to hold the parcel still.  The keen edge of the blade slid easily through the paper and straight across the palm of Adam’s left hand.

“Damn” exclaimed Adam.  He stared at his hand in surprise then raised it closer to his face to inspect the damage.

“Clumsy fool, I haven’t done that in a while.”

Concerned for his friend, Pete peered over the counter at Adam’s hand.  “You alright Adam?  How bad is it?”

“Don’t worry, it’s not deep; had worse before.” Adam reassured Pete as he wiped the blood away with his bandanna, which he’d just withdrawn from another pocket.

“Won’t take long to stop bleeding.  Now let’s see what we have in here.” he smiled, reaching back for the opened package.  He deftly withdrew one book from the wrapping and read the title.

"Hey, you're right."  Said Adam with a smile, just touching the corners of his mouth.  "Thanks, I'll take them to my hotel room and read them later.  I've got a few things to do today and I don't want to get them torn or lost.  Goodbye Pete and thanks."

Chewing thoughtfully on his bottom lip, Pete hesitated, should he ask Adam or not, then decided why not.

“Adam….What just happened then between you and Susan?  You used to be the best of friends, in fact I thought you two were getting a might serious a while back.”

“Just drop it will you Pete?” said Adam, keeping his eyes on the door, avoiding Pete’s. 

Pete sighed, he wasn’t going to get Adam to talk today about a tricky subject like Susan.

"Okay Adam, whatever you reckon. I'll see you later at the saloon?"

"I think so Pete, unless I've got my head stuck in one of these books."

"Yeah, that'd be right."  Pete, of course, knew how much Adam enjoyed his books.

CHAPTER 4    

As Adam departed the mercantile he thought about what had happened between him and Susan. He stopped at the railing outside the store and leant against it, deep in thought.

 Susan and he had been good friends.  Having a few dances together had been a standing arrangement between them for months.   He knew Susan always left room on her dance card for him.  What was so different now?  'Me.' he thought, 'And this time I took it out on her, earlier it had been Pa and Joe.'

Giving himself a sigh, he shook his head and straightened up, shifting his hold on the package under his arm.  Adam sauntered across the street to the International Hotel, intending to put the books in his room. Adam climbed the stairs and entered the Hotel.  He nodded to Herb, the desk clerk for his key.  Since he’d been spending more nights in town lately he’d become a regular at the Hotel.

“Morning Mr Cartwright, your usual room?”

“Yes thanks Herb.”

As Adam signed the register book, Herb took down the key for number 10 and placed it on the desk beside the register.

“Will you be wanting breakfast brought to your room tomorrow Mr Cartwright?”

“No thanks, I’ll use the restaurant.”

“Very well Mr Cartwright.  Enjoy your stay.”

“Okay, thanks.”

Adam picked up the key and walked across the foyer. A familiar voice called out to him from the restaurant door.

“Good Morning Adam, you’re in town early today.” Said Sheriff Roy Coffee, as he wiped his mouth with his napkin.  The Sheriff always enjoyed his breakfast in the restaurant, before making his rounds of the town.

“That young brother of yours goin to behave himself at the dance tonight?  I wouldn’t want to throw him in jail, although I’ve a good mind to after the last dance.” He said with a smile.

Adam caught the expression on Roy’s face and grinned himself.  Roy had known Adam since he was a youth and they both understood each other.  He knew how hard Adam tried to keep Joe out of trouble and how much Joe resented him for it.

“Well I’ve warned him, you’ve warned him, so maybe between the pair of us he might just listen.  Anyway you know the trouble last time wasn’t his fault, you said so yourself. And you know, as well as I, that trouble just seems to follow my little brother around.”

“Are you in town to go to the dance?”

“Not at this stage Roy, but if you like I’ll go and keep an eye on him if you want. I came into town to go to the mercantile and then the telegraph office.”

“I’d like knowing you were at the dance Adam.  That way I know Joe won’t get into mischief and I won’t spoil his night by locking him up. Your Pa’d be pretty angry if I locked him up too.”

Roy added, knowing how much Adam tried to protect his father from his brother’s goings on. Roy Coffee was sure Ben Cartwright heard only half of what mischief his youngest son got into.  Adam saw to that, although Roy wasn’t sure whom Adam was protecting the most. He smiled to himself at the thought of Adam standing between an irate Ben and mischievous Little Joe Cartwright.

“Alright Roy, I’ll go.” Adam said reluctantly.  If Susan didn’t accept his apology, he’d have to go alone to the dance.  He wasn’t looking forward to that at all.

 “Thanks Adam, I knew I could count on you.”

“Sure Roy.” Said Adam as he shook Roy’s hand in agreement, then turned and started up the stairs.

Strolling up the hallway Adam stopped.  He turned his head both ways, trying to locate the noise he thought he’d heard.  He heard nothing. Thinking he was imagining noises, Adam stepped forward again. As he went by room 3 he heard a faint voice calling for help, a man's voice.  Adam knocked on the door - there was no answer. He tried the doorknob, finding the door wasn’t locked, he pushed it wide open, not sure what to expect.  His hand was resting loosely on his gun, just in case it was needed.

He peered inside the room and found a stranger was lying on the bed.  He was wet with perspiration and holding his head as if in pain. As Adam walked nearer to the man he could see the pain written over his face.  He reached over and felt the man’s forehead, noticing there was a fresh cut on his forehead.   He was hot with fever.

"You need help, I'll get the Doctor."

"Wait.... some water, please."  Whispered the stranger, pointing behind Adam with a slightly raised hand.

Adam turned, walked over to the pitcher and poured out a glass of water for the stranger.

"Here you are."  He said and carefully helped the man sit up to drink.  The man gulped the water down and fell back into the bed exhausted.

"Thanks, I needed that."  Whispered the stranger.  Adam wasn't sure whether in pain or just worn out.

"I'll get someone to get the Doctor for you. You’d better get him to see about that cut on your head, it’s still bleeding.

"Thanks again."  The man said.

"It's all right.  Glad I could help." said Adam and he left the room.

As he ran down stairs, he realized he'd left his books in the man's room.  He turned around and went back into the room. Again there had been no answer to his knock and when he looked in the man had apparently passed out.  Adam picked up his books and headed down the hallway and stairs to Herb.

"Herb, there's a customer of yours in room 3.  He looks pretty sick.  Can you send someone for Doc Martin, I think he's needed?"

"You mean the mine inspector, Mr Nash, in 3?"

"Whoever Herb, he didn't tell me his name.  All I know is he's unconscious and needs the Doctor.”  “I heard he was involved in an accident in one of the mines early this morning.  It appears a rock fall occurred and he and a few of the miners were injured.  Someone said there was blood everywhere.  Is it anything to do with that?” said Herb remembering an earlier conversation between two men in the foyer.

“I don’t know, just get the Doc will you.”

Realizing Adam wasn’t in the mood for a chat, Herb quickly agreed to Adam’s request.

"I'll get Bobby to go for the Doc straight away Adam."

"Good.  I'm going up to my room to put this in there, then I'll be out again."

"Alright Adam."

 Once again Adam walked up the stairs and this time entered his own room.  He put the package on the bedside table, checked the room was in order and went back to the foyer.  As Adam stepped through the doorway to go out into the street, he collided into Doctor Paul Martin.

"Uhh" they said, both laughing.

"Hey Paul this is the second time I've been collided with today."

"Who was the first Adam?"  Said Paul, with a big smile.  "Couldn't have been Hoss otherwise you’d have had to see me about setting a bone or two."

Adam laughed again  "No it was Pa, thankfully."

"Well got a patient to see Adam, I'd better get a move on."

"  Yeah I know, I heard him in his room calling for help and went in to see what I could do.” Adam could see Paul was only half listening to him, he didn’t go on. “See you later Paul."

"Mmmm” said Paul, thinking about what was ahead.

 As he stepped outside, Adam heard Paul ask Herb what room his patient was in.

CHAPTER 5

Adam stood for a few moments looking up and down the street, trying to decide what he had to do next.  While he stood there his stomach made a growl. He’d taken all morning to get his books and it was midday, no wonder he was hungry.  He spun around, stepped back inside the Hotel and made his way through to the restaurant.   With his piercing brown eyes, he scanned the room, searching for a vacant table.  Locating one near the center of the room he made his way over to it, weaving around the tables and slid down onto the seat.

"Hello Adam, what'll it be today?"   Danny the owner said, with his usual smile.

"Danny, good to see you." and Adam returned the smile.  "I think a steak and vegetables will do today.  Are you cooking or is Leslie?"

"Leslie is."

"Well it's definitely a steak, but only if Leslie cooks it.  She knows the way I like mine done."  Adam joked.  He was starting to feel a lot better already, except for what happened with Susan. He’d eat his lunch, then call in to see her.

"Don't let her hear what you just said, otherwise I'll never get into the kitchen."

Danny, do us all a favor  - stay out. Please?" Adam pleaded.

"But who'll wash the dishes Adam?  I can do them better than Leslie."

"I'm glad of that Danny, real glad." Adam smirked as he thought of Danny washing dishes, with an apron tied around his waist, flashed across his mind.

"I won't be long with that order.  Coffee in the meantime?" asked Danny, holding a cup and pot of coffee in each hand.

"Yeah, thanks."

Adam sat thinking in the restaurant as to what he had left to do before he'd go to his room and read the books.  As it was nearly midday he still had time to get the telegraph for his father and then maybe have a few beers with Pete sometime after lunch.  He smiled to himself thinking about the beer and Pete.  The two always seemed to go together.  He then thought about whether to go to the dance tonight it Susan didn’t accept his apology.  Danny bringing him his steak soon interrupted his thoughts.

"Enjoy your meal Adam." He said, placing the plate down in front of him.  Adam stared down at the plate; it overflowed with a large steak and a huge mound of vegetables.

"Thanks Danny, I know I will."  Adam replied, watching Danny refill his cup.

Adam sat enjoying the steak and ate the meal in no time, leaving the plate empty except for the bone.  After such an enjoyable meal, he was back to feeling relaxed.   He leant back in the chair, tipping back until it rested on the rear legs. Glancing over the other customers as he did, Adam sipped the last of his coffee.  Danny and Leslie had plenty of customers in the restaurant.  He was happy for them because he knew they were honest, hardworking and enjoyed their success.  Having finished his coffee, Adam leant forward and sat the chair back on all four legs.

He pushed himself up from the table and made his way over to Danny to pay the bill.

"Give my regards to Leslie will you?” Adam said, as he reached into his pocket for his money. “Tell her, as usual she knows how to cook my steak properly, not like someone else I know.”  He said, meeting Danny straight in the eye and trying to keep a straight face.

"You go on in and say them yourself Adam, otherwise you'll be in trouble with the cook and so will I too, for not sending you in."

Adam laughed and walked into the kitchen. As he pushed the door open he stopped.  Susan MacDonald was also in the kitchen, talking to Leslie, their backs towards him.   Adam smiled to himself, was this meeting planned or what?

"Hello again Susan.  Hello Leslie."

"Why Hello Adam.  Susan was just telling me what an unpleasant man you are today.  Get out of bed on the wrong side today did we?” Leslie said sweetly.

"Touché Leslie."

Adam looked at Susan, who returned his gaze, a smile just starting to appear on her face.

"Susan, I truly am sorry about this morning.  I had a rough start to the day back home and I took it out on you.  I shouldn't have.  Will you forgive me?"  He gave her one of his best smiles, which lit up his whole face and eyes.

"I forgive you Adam Cartwright how could I not?" They both knew she loved his smile and couldn’t resist it when he gave her one.  She’d told him often enough in the past, that it was now a private joke between them.

"Go on Susan." prompted Leslie.

"But you have to pay a price for forgiveness."  Susan said laughing.

"Most certainly Miss MacDonald, whatever the price, I will gladly pay."  Going along with the two women, but thinking he knew what was planned.

"You are hereby ordered to accompany Miss Susan MacDonald to the dance tonight and to occupy the majority of her dance card as she so chooses."  Susan said in mock severity.

"Miss MacDonald, what a harsh price to pay, but if it is pleases the court, I will honor the ruling.  Shall I call for you at about 6pm?"  Asked Adam, laughing once again.  He was enjoying the fun, even though it was at his expense.

Susan replied  "6pm will be fine, thank you Mr Cartwright.”

"Thank you Miss MacDonald." with that Adam tipped his hat.  "Ladies, I bid you leave." and left the kitchen.  On the way out he heard the women burst into laughter and giggles.

"Private joke Adam or can you tell me?"  Asked Danny as he saw Adam smile at the laughter coming from the kitchen.

"You had to be there Danny, but I think I've just been setup."

"If I know Leslie, like I do, you were definitely setup.  After all Susan and Leslie are the best of friends."

Adam acknowledged that comment with a good laugh of his own which Danny joined in.

"See you at the dance tonight then Adam?"  Danny called out as Adam stepped out of the restaurant.

"Yes I'll be there."

 Once again Adam nodded to Herb as he walked through the restaurant to go outside

CHAPTER 6

Outside Adam realized that he'd better go to the telegraph office before Robert closed early for tonight's dance.  Adam strode down the street, saying Hello to those he knew along the way.

"Hello Robert, how are you today?" he said as he stepped into the office.

"Hello yourself Adam, I suppose you're here to collect your Pa’s telegraph.  Mr Cartwright told me he was expecting one."

"Sure am."

"Here it is."

"Thanks Robert and I'll see you at the dance later on."  Said Adam tucking the telegraph into his coat pocket.

Robert gave Adam a grin. "As always I'll be there."

"You never know your luck Robert, one of those fine ladies is going to take a liking to you and you'll be heading down the aisle in next to no time."

"How true, Adam, how true.  Soon, please, would be nice." Robert said in a pleading voice. They both laughed at the thought.  "I suppose you'd want me to be your best man."

"But of course, who else Adam."

Adam made his way back over to Pete's again. While talking to Robert, he decided to collect the mail, if there was any to collect.  The earlier incident with Susan had caused him to forget that chore.  As he walked in the door to the mercantile, Pete looked up, smiling at him.

"Time for that beer Adam?"

"Yes I think so.  Any mail for us, I forgot to ask you earlier?”

Laughing Pete said “I wonder why you forgot Adam, something else on your mind at the time?”

Pete glanced over his shoulder into the Cartwright’s pigeonhole. "Nope."

"Let's go." said Pete, taking off his apron and throwing it on the counter. "I've worked up a good thirst today."

"I'll only have one or two with you Pete, because I'm going to the dance after all."  Adam said slyly as he stood patiently outside the mercantile while Pete locked the door.

"Oh, who with?"

"Susan MacDonald."  Adam looked at Pete from beneath his eyebrows, a smirk on his face, waiting for Pete’s reaction to his news.

"Susan, you’re kidding me aren’t you?  How'd you fix up getting into her good books?  From what happened this morning I thought you were a gonna with her."

"I can thank Leslie Stevens for fixing that problem."  Adam laughed as they entered the saloon, telling Pete about his lunch and the conversation after it.

Stan the bartender looked at Pete and Adam and said  "The usual beers gents?"

"Yes please." They both replied, laughing at each other.  They collected their beer, headed for the nearest empty table and sat down. 

"I'm not even going to taste this one Adam."  Pete said as he proceeded to down the beer.

"I'll go a bit slower on mine if you don't mind.  I'd better not have too many before the dance otherwise I'll be back in Susan's bad books again."

"Sucker.  Glutton for punishment eh?"

Pete and Adam had been friends ever since Pete's family had moved to Virginia City.  They were about the same age and had taken to each other's company from the moment they'd met at school.  Pete, always the joker, had offset Adam's reserved manner.  That was why he could just say what he did then and get away with it.  He knew Adam would take it lightly and play along with the fun.  Adam would get his own back on plenty of occasions.

"No, not that.  I just want to enjoy Susan's company that's all."

"Sure Adam, sure."

Pete looked up at the bar and caught Stan's eye.  Stan held up two fingers as he leant under the counter for the glasses.  Pete shook his head and held up just one.  Stan nodded and poured the one beer.  Adam was sipping his beer, but enjoying it just the same as Pete.  With his hands full of drinks, Stan walked out from behind the bar. Passing by their table, he placed one glass down and picked up the empty.

"There you are Pete.  You right I see Adam, a bit slow tonight on the beer, you’ve gotta be going to the dance."  Stan gave Adam a wink as he moved to the next table and left the remaining beers on the table.

"Yeah Stan” called out Adam.  Can't have too many, it’ll ruin my dancing.”

Just then Little Joe pushed the doors open and stepped into the saloon.  He stopped when he saw Adam was already there.  He was reluctant to venture in any further in case his brother was still mad at him.  Joe didn't like his big brother to be angry with him, like most boys, he idolized his big brothers, but especially Adam.  He had had to help raise him and Hoss when first Inger and then Marie had died.  What he wouldn't do just now to have Adam smile at him and Joe regretted what he'd said this morning.  It had just slipped out in anger.  The brothers stared at each other, until Adam, with a smile, signaled his brother to come over.  Joe, grinning like a Cheshire cat came over, pulling a chair along with him.

"Hello Big Brother, not mad at me any more?" said Joe using his best pleading voice.  It’d always worked on Adam when he was little, so he decided to try it now.

Adam had decided enough was enough with their fight.  At least this time there were no punches pulled like there had been on other occasions.  Both of them were stubborn enough to get on each other’s nerves.  They were opposites in nature.  Adam - quiet and reserved - always thinking before acting, while Joe was outgoing and loud.  Many a time Adam had rescued Joe from some problem or trouble, just because he had jumped in, boots and all.  There had been times when Joe hadn't wanted to be rescued and had resented Adam's butting in.

Those times usually had the brothers trading words and then more than likely punches.  Adam could see Joe was happy and guessed that he'd been to see Mr. Hanson, who had allowed Joe to take Becky to the dance.

"Hi Joe, no I’m not mad at you anymore.  You look pleased with yourself.  I guess Frank Hanson's letting you take Becky to the dance huh?"

Surprised Joe replied "Yes, how could you know?"

Adam and Pete laughed.  "I know you too well, little brother - you can't keep too many secrets from me, besides you had a grin a mile wide when you walked in here.”

Joe laughed at that, happy to see Adam starting to get back to his usual self.

"What are you doing tonight? You going to spend the night in here?”

"Well Joe I guess I'll see you at the dance.  Roy Coffee wants me to keep you on a short rein otherwise he’s going to throw you in jail.”

“Oh No.  Pa’ll kill me if anything happens tonight.”

“He’ll have to wait in line.”

“Why? Who’d be first?”

“Mr Hanson, then Roy Coffee, then me.”  Adam said watching the look of fear cross over Joe’s face.  He couldn’t tell which one he was afraid of the most.

“Why you Adam?”

“Because I’m going to the dance with a lady and if you mess me up you’ll be in big trouble.”

"No kidding.  Who you going with?"

"Susan...Susan MacDonald as a matter of fact." Said Adam, going slightly pink with embarrassment.  He could feel his face going red and he didn’t know why he should be feeling embarrassed.  It wasn’t as though he’d never been out with Susan before.

"Yee haa.  The Cartwright boys are out on the town tonight." Yelled Joe.

"Is Hoss coming into town too?"

"Yep and with Betsy-Sue."

 Adam laughed and Little Joe joined in.  Hoss's shyness around pretty gals was a source of amusement to his brothers.  Neither Adam nor Little Joe was backward in coming forward when it came to asking a pretty girl for a date. 

For Hoss, even the thought of a walk alone was enough to tongue-tie him.  Although he could easily handle the roughness of men and animals, women made him extremely shy.  Many a girl had walked away in frustration of not being asked out.

"Well Joe he's finally gotten round to asking her huh?"

"Sure looks that way Adam, and about time too."

“Now we all know how shy Hoss is." said Pete enjoying the conversation, "I wouldn't be surprised if it was the other way around."

"Who cares which one did the asking Pete, just as long as we're all in town at the dance." Joe said.

Adam, who had just finished his beer, looked at Pete who nodded and then at Little Joe. "Beer Joe?"

"Yeah Adam."

Adam called out "Stan", when he had his attention,  "Three beers when you're ready."

"Okay Adam, be right with you."

"What's Pa doing Joe?"

"He decided to stay home Adam, there's enough trouble about with us three in town.  He said he had some paperwork he wanted to catch up on and with the house quiet he’d get it done quicker."

“What paperwork was it?”

“Oh something about that timber quote you and he did sometime ago.”

“He didn’t mention anything to me about it.”

“Uh Adam, you weren’t in the best of moods when you left this morning, remember?”

With that Adam glanced at Joe, who was unsure how his brother was going to react to his statement.  Adam gave him a small smile as he reached across the table and gave Joe a slap on the arm. “No I wasn’t was I.  I wonder who upset me?”

Joe returned Adam’s smile with his usual cheeky grin and drank the last of his beer in relief.

Adam looked up at Stan when he brought the beers over to the table.  He reached into his pocket and brought out enough money to pay for the round.   "Here Stan, this is for tonight's rounds."

Pete started to protest.  "Pete it's getting late and I need to go to the Hotel and freshen up for the dance, otherwise Susan will have my hide.  After all I am paying penance and I need to be on my best behavior."  Adam said.

Joe looked at Adam puzzled. "What penance?  What's going on?"

"Never mind Joe, never mind it's a private joke.  I'll tell you about it later or maybe tomorrow.  Anyway don't you have too many to drink otherwise Hanson's gonna skin you if anything happens tonight at the dance.  You and Becky are still on thin ice, even if he said Okay for tonight. Then there’s Roy to worry about.

"How'd you know that Adam?"

Adam just smiled at Little Joe and winked.  He tipped back his glass and drank the last of the beer, then stood up to leave. "See you both lat